Jake Tapper has a fantastic tweet thread on how Superman cuts his hair.
I’m glad you asked, Jesse. 1/ https://t.co/zL1mh1X4Pw— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
Because it’s true, Superman’s hair is very strong. 2/ pic.twitter.com/pNqX5APJaM— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
Sometimes he uses his own heat vision and a mirror to cut his own hair. 3/ pic.twitter.com/OAX0i20HAq— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
Other times he relies on help from his fellow Kryptonians. 4/ pic.twitter.com/83IeJBlA8Q— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
Truth is, this is a problem for Superman. His special heat vision reflectors need to be replaced frequently. 5/ pic.twitter.com/EUEBTzfwlG— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
And the whole burning-hair requirement of his alter ego has caused strife with Lois. 6/ pic.twitter.com/BNWOCsPkmF— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
In any case, @JesseKellyDC, the Kryptonian-American community thanks you for your interest and sensitivity to our needs.— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) June 19, 2017
One of Superman’s tried and true methods, apparently, is that he uses his own laser vision to burn back his hair. I didn’t know this because — confessing my unpopular opinion here — I always thought Superman was kind of a dumb superhero and so I rarely read the comic.
Still I call shenanigans on this.
A quick Google search reveals, much as I expected, that Superman has flown into the sun many times.
There’s even video:
And yet I’ve been looking in vain for a single image of Superman with his hair burned off. Now, you might say that of course he won’t lose his hair in our “yellow” sun, because he derives his powers from it. When he goes into our sun, he gets stronger and so does his hair.
But according to Wikipedia and some more googling, Superman has also been able to withstand the heat inside the Earth’s core which, according to NASA, could range as much as 7,000 to 12,000 degrees. That is hotter than the surface of the sun and presumably hotter than his heat vision. And yet, he emerges with that glorious just-showered look.
Obviously, the truth is that Superman wears a wig. Either that, or Superman is a ridiculous comic-book character. Take your pick.