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Talk to The Hand



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An e-mail:

“Saw you on “On the Record.” Emphasis on “saw”–couldn’t hear a
word. I was in a restaurant, which was noisy and the volume was turned down.
Accordingly, I tried to divine from your hand gestures what it was you were
on about. I came up with the following interpretations (others are possible):

1. You were conversing in Italian wherein use of the right hand is a sine
qua non.

2. You were demonstrating the Braves Tomahawk Chop.

3. You were Professor Lowry instructing the unwashed (“…and point #299…”)

4. You were hammering home convincing points of argument.

5. Freudian version of #4: you were hammering the other analyst over the
head.

6. Jungian version of #4: you were hammering Van Susteren over the head.

7. Goldbergian version of #4: you were hammering Jonah over the head.

Also, the couch effect was most noticeable. You need to get out more. Distinct couch-pallor evident. Maybe you need a dog. Cats aren’t worth a damn for ‘going walkies.’”



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