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Brain Dead


The brain of the West German leftist terrorist Ulrike Meinhof was, apparently, cremated yesterday – more than a quarter of a century after the rest of her. She was no loss and nor was her brain. If we discount reports that Hitler’s brain has lingered on, that only leaves one other dead terrorist brain at large – that of Lenin, which can still be found in a Moscow scientific institute. The beastly Bolshevik’s brain was sliced and diced by eager Soviet scientists not long after the monster’s death, eager, presumably, to see if Ilyich’s recipes for barbarism and economic catastrophe were somehow imprinted on his little grey cells. They weren’t, naturally enough, but by that time it didn’t matter – Lenin’s evil ideas had already been absorbed by thousands of others – with, alas, lethal consequences that were to endure for decades.

Of course it’s not only Lenin’s brain that lingers on. His body’s still with us too – still on show in that mausoleum in Red Square. It needs to go somewhere else, but where? Cremated with the ashes scattered in a sewer would, I think, be an appropriate finale for this disgusting creature. Maybe Corner readers have other, possibly more charitable, suggestions.

As for Lenin’s Mausoleum itself, it should be left standing in Red Square, but this curiously beautiful structure, a masterpiece of Constructivist architecture, needs to find a purpose that can, somehow, redeem those years as a monument to oppression. Why not turn it into a memorial to the tens of millions murdered by the Soviet regime? The building that once ‘buried’ Lenin should now be used to bury his ideas.


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