How Do I Put This....?

by Jonah Goldberg

The commercial that annoys me more than any other these days is the one for Cottonelle toilet tissue. You’ve probably seen it, if you spend any time watching TV. It features all sorts of scenes of people from all walks of life, wagging their butts in the air like they just don’t care. Oh, they’re wearing pants, fear not. But they wiggle their tushes around on the bowling alley, at the airport, etc. Why are they doing this? Because their toilet tissue is especially efficient and comprehensive in achieving the things we’ve come to expect from toilet tissue. You can watch the ad like a thousand times and not think twice about it, but once you listen to what they’re saying you realize how disgusting it is.

But now get this, I go to the Cottonelle website website in search of a link to one of the commercials. I click on the icon of the little TV set. But instead of the ad, I find out it’s a chat room. Am I the only one disturbed by the image of people hanging out in a toilet paper chatroom? And I’m not talking about The Daily Worker either.

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