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The Corner

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Leveling With Americans



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Consider: The Saddamites and their foreign allies decide that the proper way to celebrate the start of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan is to massacre several dozen innocent people – Iraqi police officers, Red Cross workers and American troops among them.

They use ambulances to carry suicide terrorists and explosives. They dress up as policeman.

And the world is outraged – at President Bush.

Why? Because when he said back in May that the work ahead in Iraq would be “difficult” and “dangerous” people naturally took that to mean it would be a cakewalk, a day at the beach, a bowl of cherries.

We all believed that, and we had every reason to believe that because Bush told us so, not in words exactly but he did stand with his shoulders squared in front of a banner on the ship that read: “Mission Accomplished.”

How could anyone be so jejune as to interpret that to mean that Saddam Hussein had been toppled, the mission of the troops on that ship had been accomplished, the ship was now heading home?

Obviously, that banner meant that Bush, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Condi and the rest of the neo-conservative cabal believed that the War in Iraq was over, the War on Terrorism was over, Saddam Hussein would soon turn himself in and be sentenced to community service (after his attorney, Johnny Cochran, argued that “if the aluminum tubes don’t fit you must acquit”), and Osama bin Laden would become a basketball coach at a non-sectarian madrassa in Karachi.

Not only that, “Mission Accomplished” also meant there would finally be peace on Earth, good will toward persons, swords would be turned into plowshares, drug benefits would be free, and the lion would lay down with the lamb — to loud and sustained applause from PETA.

Yes, that stupid Bush cleverly fooled us all because he’s a big, fat liar like all those right-wingers – especially Ann Coulter who’s a big, fat liar even though she is skinny. That’s just part of the lie.



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