A reader in Michigan: “As to your shirt, we had a guest teacher from Wales
one year. I was a freshman (so you can understand how entertaining this
was) and he taught Biology and always wore the SAME OUTFIT. White shirt
button down with brown pants and… he wore a tank-style undershirt! Must
be something about you guys from across the big pond. … Is it something
about growing up across the Atlantic?… And… do you wear an undershirt???
As to the female hominid… we realize how dorky you look when you wear the
same clothes, and always wonder if it’s the EXACT same clothes, or if you
have many different pieces of the same thing. And if you wonder if it’s the
same thing… then you’re really wondering about people’s cleanliness and
stinkiness, etc. and we would rather not have someone wonder about that.
It’s been thought about, but we’ve evolved far more than the male hominid.”
Now look here. (1) I do not take kindly to being compared with a person
from Wales. The Welsh eat seaweed, speak a language no-one else can
understand, and sing far too much. “Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a
thief,” etc., etc. (2) I have ***SEVERAL*** blue shirts, not just one. (3)
Under my shirt I wear a “tank-style” undershirt in the summer (the style
known in NYC as a “guinea T-shirt,” and elsewhere, I believe, as a
“wife-beater”). In the winter I wear an actual plain white T-shirt under my
shirt, and I have ***SEVERAL*** of those, too–I buy them five at a time
from Sears. (4) I shower every morning, except when I forget to, and am
fragrant as honeysuckle. Okay?