Did a Drug-Ring Steal My Daughter’s Jammies?

by Jonah Goldberg

I feel enough time has transpired that I can now float my almost entirely unsubstantiated theory that a drug ring — or some other smuggling operation — runs out of the Cabo San Lucas, Mexico airport.

Here are the facts: Last month, as many of you might recall, my wife, daughter and I flew down to Cabo for my sister-in-law’s wedding. Great time, good memories, yada yada. On the return trip we had three pieces of luggage. The biggest had my wife’s stuff and most of lil’ Lucy’s. We checked in at Continental. They “searched” our luggage (translation: they opened it and closed it again) and sent us to the ticket counter. We got our tickets and checked our luggage. In Houston, we had to go through customs. Our three bags were there and we rechecked them for the connecting flight to DC. But when we got to DC, the biggest bag never showed.

Now, here’s the interesting part. We discovered that we had gotten only two baggage claim checks, and the one that was missing corresponded with the bag that was missing. I would have said, “Ah the Mexicans lost our luggage,” except for the fact that the bag showed up in Houston and disappeared after it was in the states. Moreover, the fact that the claim check that was missing was the one for the bag that was missing seemed highly coincidental. Unless it was deliberate. This way, the bag gets into the United States legally and then, once through customs, it disappears. This would mean that the lady at the ticket counter was in on it since she’s the one who “mistakenly” failed to issue the baggage claim.

I wouldn’t go public with my theory except for the fact that this remains a huge hassle in that Continental wants us to provide them with receipts for everything in the bag including the baby’s clothes. So why I should bite my tongue any longer about what is obviously the biggest drug smuggling operation in the history of the universe?

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