The Common Cold

by Jonah Goldberg

Why does it afflict people so differently? My father and I both expect to see the Grim Reaper pointing his bony finger of damnation at us when we get a cold. Stipulating that I’m giant baby about these things, it’s nonetheless true that everytime I get a cold I feel like I spent the night in a Bolivian jockey bar drinking tequilla-and-sewer water and fighting-off a dozen little dudes who eventually beat me about the head and chest with fire extinguishers. Meanwhile, the missus — of hardy Alaskan stock, to be sure — can function at about 50% efficiency. Do certain ethnic groups suffer more than others? Is it partly a male-female thing? It vexes me.

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