According to this hilariously serious interview in an Egyptian newspaper , Egyptian lawyers in Switzerland and legal scholars in Egypt want to sue all of the world’s Jews for the gold and kitchen utensils “stolen” by the Hebrews when they fled Egypt. The sum owed to Egyptians by Jews is somewhere just shy of infinity-plus-one dollars, also known as a super-blajillion dollars. Here’s how one of the scholars preparing the suit explains it:
“If we assume that the weight of what was stolen was one ton, [its worth] doubled every 20 years, even if the annual interest is only 5%. In one ton of gold is 700 kg of pure gold – and we must remember that what was stolen was jewelry, that is, alloyed with copper. Hence, after 1,000 years, it would be worth 1,125,898,240 million tons, which equals 1,125,898 billion tons for 1,000 years. In other words, 1,125 trillion tons of gold, that is, a million multiplied by a million tons of gold. This is for one stolen ton. The stolen gold is estimated at 300 tons, and it was not stolen for 1,000 years, but for 5,758 years, by the Jewish reckoning. Therefore, the debt is very large…
You can say that again. Of course, if we’re going to play this game, the Egyptians owe the Jews some shmundo too. After all, they held Jews in bondage for generations. The average, say, Jewish accountant or surgeon, makes a very nice living these days. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, $100,000 a year. Multiply that times the number of Hebrews forced to make bricks from straw, times the number of generations in bondage, including overtime and paid vacation – plus night work – compounded over 5,758 years and we’re not talking baklahvah either. Plus, what about the Jews cut of Egypt’s tourism industry? Since the Jews built a lot of that stuff – without compensation – shouldn’t they get a cut of all that too?
Anyway, remind me not to hire an Egyptian lawyer anytime soon. And good luck if you want my antique Egyptian dinnerware.