The Latest Tweets from Team NRO . . .
The State of Louisiana had invited French president Jacques Chirac to a ceremony marking the bicentennial of the Louisiana Purchase. Now it’s considering rescinding the invite. Hey Gov. Foster, why not invite NRO’s French Guy? Any Frenchman with the stones to play John Philip Sousa in the middle of Paris these days to show his solidarity with America deserves a bowl of gumbo, at the very least.
Our Man in Paris
This just in from NRO’s fabulous French Guy:
It’s early spring in Paris, that’s the one and only good news. French people are so happy because of what they perceive to be coalition setbacks in the war on Iraq. So I decided to be happy as well! And I decided to give my neighbors a free prime time concert… I bought “THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE AMERICAN MARCH” by The Goldman Band on CD, and I’m playing it right now! It’s 21:24 in Paris, a couple loudspeakers in my garden, loud enough to be heard around but law-abiding quiet enough. I hope my fellow Frenchmen are enjoying J.P. Sousa, Victor Herbert and titles like The Pride of America and The President’s March. I hope all is well in NYC and the family is doing great in Dallas. And now I’m going to turn to The Corner, the best reward one can expect after a long work day.
We need to send humanitarian relief to French Guy, bravely resisting the Fedayeen Chirac behind the lines! I say we parachute P.J. O’Rourke in with good Kentucky bourbon, Hank Williams, Jr. CDs, a copy of Ray Charles’ peerless recording of “America the Beautiful,” and barbecued ribs from Texas. Oh, and cowboy boots. Send me your shoe size, French Guy, and I’ll mail you a pair of Tony Lamas when I get down to the Great State.
Rips Your Heart Out
CBS News just broadcast a heart-rending report from Iraq. US Marines mistakenly destroyed an SUV filled with a family or Iraqi farmers, killing several of them. CBS was on the scene with the Marines, who came to help them with their dead. Amazingly, the surviving family held no anger toward the Marines, and thanked them for their help. One of the men of the family told the reporter that they understand why the Marines made this mistake, because Saddam is forcing civilians to take this route in hopes that Allied forces will make exactly this kind of mistake. In other words, these poor people, who had just seen their kinsmen burned to death by American bombs, blamed Saddam for the incident. Amazing.
Did I Miss This, Jonah?
Did someone else already suggest this? We can sell “guy” positions. Here’s what one guy wannabe says: “If you require shameless subordination as a requirement for this
position I would even consider ordering a subscription to NRODT, but only
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It Was a Missile in Kuwait
FNC just said Kuwait confirms. Evidently hit a shopping mall. Would have have hit around 1:30. Other channels are not saying that much. In fact, CNN’s Gupta, on the scene, stresses it doesn’t look like it was a missile.
Re: 1,000 Mogadishus
Well, first of all, considering the massive kill ratios between US and Somali forces, no friend of the Third World should want 1,000 Mogadishus.
But, I wonder, if an academic can say he wants a 1,000 Mogadishus, am I allowed to say I want a dozen Kent States?
I don’t, mind you, but I just think it’s worth throwing out there.
This is is what the Arab news media is calling the second marketplace incident, Nic Robertson is reporting on CNN.
Something Just Happened in Kuwait
Watching billowing smoke on CNN. There was an explosion.
Possibility of Seeing Your Next Birthday
In response to my diary piece, a kind reader has sent me the relevant
actuarial tables (though from 1983). Here is a subset of them. The meaning
of, for example, the “60″ row is: Of every 1,000 males aged 60 in 1983,
9.158 were destined not to make it to 61. It is indeed the case that at age
105, your chance of making it to your next birthday is only 50-50. Is it
me, or is there something a bit creepy about the actuarial business? An
actuary once told me that I would most likely die in October of 2026 (I
think that’s what it was). I’d really rather not have known that.
1983 GAM Attained Age Mortality Table
“Annual Rates of Death per 1,000 Lives”
Age Male Female
10 0.293 0.096
20 0.377 0.189
30 0.607 0.342
40 1.238 0.665
50 3.909 1.647
60 9.158 4.241
70 27.530 12.385
80 74.070 42.945
90 166.307 111.750
100 319.185 295.187
110 1000.000 1000.000
Wishing For Mogadishus: Resignation, Please?
As Matthew Continetti reported on NRO today, one Professor Nicholas De Genova of Columbia University (speaking at a “teach-in”) wished that “a million Mogadishus” would be visited on U.S. soldiers fighting in Iraq.
A stunning and disgraceful statement. I called Columbia’s Public Affairs office, and they faxed this lame statement: “Assistant Professor Nicholas De Genova was speaking as an individual at a teach-in. He was exercising his right to free speech. His statement does not in any way represent the views of Columbia University.” N.Y. senators Clinton and Schumer did not return calls.
De Genova should be asked to resign and to apologize. Furthermore, Columbia should condemn his statement. If a professor had called for “a million Matthew Shepards” on the gay community, would Columbia sit quiet, as they are now?Alumni: Get to work: It looks like Columbia won’t without your pressure.
Speaking of The Information Ministry
We evidently just hit the information ministry.
This morning the Iraqi minister of information said he expected the “cowards” of the “Coalition” would use WMD. He said: “The Iraqi soldier is prepared and supplied with the latest including a gas mask,” he said. “[The U.S. knows] that soldiers in war should be prepared for any situation that might arise … and the masks are part of this.”
Jonah’s military guy says (echoing Babbin thoughts from earlier this week):
I fully expect (and hope I’m wrong) that if chemical weapons get used, they’re going to be first used on civilians, and blamed on us. The Disinformation Minister is setting the stage. If they can engineer something that they can call a defeat of coalition forces (or a true defeat, possible, if unlikely) that would be a good window for them to do the dirty deed and claim we did it. A cut-off contingent, like the guys that were on the wrong side of the river when the bridge was blown would offer a perfect scenario to claim we used chem to cover the rescue of the cut-off element. Sigh.
That both marketplace bombings happened in Shia neighborhoods. Again, totally possible that these are both, in fact, terrible accidents due to our missiles going astray. But, it is just as possible that Iraq did this on purpose (remember that frightening Jed Babbin “Sadddam Victory” piece from the other day). Of course, as Jonah notes today, people like the U.N. and al Jazeera, etc., will never even get that there is a difference.
Since Jonah Isn’t Using His Military Guy...
…”Guy” tells gives me the alternative spin on the peace sign: “When I see it, I flash it back, followed up with ‘V for Victory!’ The
anti’s stole it. I say take it back! ” If Susan Sarandon had only realized….
Turkish Airlines Flight Hijacked
CNN reporting, from AP, that it is believed to be headed for Greece.
Alert to Hank Williams fans: A few weeks ago I wrote up Jason Petty’s stage
show, which brings Hank to life wonderfully.
However, I said the show was closing in a few days, which it did. I am gald
to report that this was temporary. The show–it’s called “Hank Williams:
Lost Highway”–is now at the Little Shubert Theater on W. 42nd St. in New
York. If you love Hank’s music, you have to see Petty. And hear him–he
has the voice down exactly. No, I’m not related to Petty, and have no
interest (in the 18th-century usage) in the show–it’s just a lovely show if
you like Hank Williams.