he Wall Street Journal reports that Al Gore "plans to attack Bush's Social Security plan, citing a federal study of three Texas counties that experimented with privatization and got results favoring the wealthy." The reference is presumably to a 1999 study by the General Accounting Office — a study whose conclusions Richard Nadler, chairman of the American Shareholders Association, dismisses as the product of its "incredibly negative assumptions."

If Gore does launch this line of attack, will it mean that he supports extending Social Security to cover all newly hired state and local employees, as Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan urges? Probably not: The American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees (AFSCME) is dead-set against the idea. A "fact sheet" explains that forcing the uncovered workers into the program "doesn't solve the Social Security problem" and would "[c]reate huge expenses for workers and employers" and — horror of horrors — "[r]aise taxes." Steve Silbiger, a former lobbyist for AFSCME, comments, "It sounds like Ramesh Ponnuru could have written this stuff. They're total hypocrites on this."

Forever Bill
President Clinton described how life in the White House has been great for his marriage yesterday during a radio interview: "I think it's been good for ours ... We've probably had more time together in our time here than at any point in our marriage. And I've enjoyed that immensely. It's been wonderful for us." It makes you wonder how bad their marriage was in Arkansas.

Last week, the man with the wonderful White House marriage told America about how much time he sleeps with his dog Buddy, now that Hillary is constantly in New York: "He sleeps with me when Hillary's not here. He's my true friend. We have a great time."

By the way, the May issue of Playboy features a photo of Clinton and Hugh Hefner. In yesterday's radio interview, Clinton said he's like to be president "forever if I could."

Funny Man Al Gore
In his new autobiography Creating Equal, Ward Connerly tells of a White House meeting in which Vice President Gore squeezed so hard during a handshake that Connerly wanted to yawp in pain. But apparently Gore has more than one trick up his sleeve when he has to rub palms with someone he doesn't like. Here's Boston Globe columnist Jeff Jacoby, a frequent Gore critic, writing yesterday:

"Last October, arriving at The Boston Globe for an editorial board interview, Gore walked around the room and shook hands with each of the editors and writers present. When he reached me, he started to shake my hand, too. But as soon as he heard my name, he withdrew his hand — then began peering intently at the top of my head. This was a new experience. Never having had my scalp scrutinized by a presidential candidate in front of two-dozen people before, I wasn't quite sure of the protocol.

"'Where are the horns?' Gore asked. The horns? 'From the columns you've been writing about me, I expected to see horns on your head.'"

Maybe Gore can headline a show in Vegas after he loses in November. No wonder this guy needs to steal his jokes from the web. For more on the Gore-as-joke-thief controversy, click here.