John Dewan — posted: 8/08/00 3:30 p.m.
He will undoubtedly portray himself as a victem of all the bad things that ever happened to him. From growing up in a hotel to having to resort to becoming a born-again christian. Tough move to pull off when your projecting the alpha role, but I have faith he can pull it off.

John Malone — posted: 8/08/00 3:30 p.m.
He will tearfully recount how he endured many a paper cut as a journalist in Viet Nam.

Steve White — posted: 8/08/00 3:30 p.m.
Algore will reveal that he is really Dick Cheney's son. But Cheney chased him out of the house with a plastic gun and cop-killer bullets when he finds out that Al came out of the closet while in the military.

Al was taken in by the Gores, and Al Sr.'s last, dying gasp was, "Al, get Cheney's daughter out of there. And do it on live TV...maybe Janet Reno can organize it."

Warren Waldmann — posted: 8/08/00 3:30 p.m.
Al badly needs a prescription medicine problem to capitalize upon. The ideal problem would be a member of his family who succumbed to lung cancer while being denied Federally subsidized prescription coverage for the "patch". The problem he faces is that he is best served by an indigent relative. There is not one available as far as I can tell so he needs to fall back on a close acquaintance. Fortunately, his imagination has never failed him. Perhaps he can plausibly argue that a close personal friend was the model for the John Grisham novel which dispatched the tobacco companies. Then again, he has not taken advantage of his in-laws to date.

John C. Povejsil — posted: 8/08/00 3:30 p.m.
AlGore's next personal disaster will be that he drops below 15% in all national polls and is excluded from the debates. As Pat Buchanan and Ralph Nader pass him up, he wages a negative campaign against Big Textiles (Roger Milliken) and Big Protest (the various Nader loonies) charging that they have conspired to deny him his birthright. As Jesse Ventura enters the race, Big Wrestling (i.e. WWF, not WCW) becomes the next target.

robert j. cruce — posted: 8/03/00 7:00 p.m.
I can't believe there hasn't been more followup on an interview with the Gore tenants. These people were ready to roar! The personal disaster during the LA convention simply must be detailed accounts of what it is like to live under landlord Al. Then the televised eviction!

Matt Anderson — posted: 8/03/00 7:00 p.m.
Reading from the liberal playbook, I would not be surprised to have a "near miss" assasination attempt--not actual guns and shooting, but an elaborate plot to maim/hurt/dismember or kill Mr. Gore, or a close family member. It could be uncovered "just in time" so no violent act is committed. The perpetrators will never be found, but plenty of evidence will be found linking them to politically conservative thought, and by implication, Mr. Cheney or persons close to Mr. Bush. Mr. Gore will be emotionally traumatized, then angry. He will gain the sympathy of the electorate and have a palpable bogey-man to vilify. He will hit the stump with renewed vigor and people will have to ask, "Do we really want those dangerous conservatives in power?" The tactic has worked for the pro-abortion groups--why not for Mr. Gore? .

Ken Russell — posted: 8/03/00 7:00 p.m.
Algore will tearfully declare to fight for more spending to cure South Park's Timmy!!

Gerald McCutcheon, Jr. — posted: 8/03/00 7:00 p.m.
The next great science fiction fantasy created by Mr. Gore could be that one of his family members was the inspiration for the movie "Dying Young", an insipid collage of C-grade acting with a miserable story line. As always, ho wever, we will be told by the Sultan of Soliloquy that he invented Merck...or Pf izer...or could it be Hoffman LaRoche (?)...just in time to pull the plug on the insidious sickness and, once again, save the day. A personal disaster averted! Then it will be back to campaign trail to bang the pharmaceutical industry lik e a drum.

Ed Lilly — posted: 8/03/00 7:00 p.m.
The high cost of prescription medicine for his late father and/or mother. Probably his father since he's dead and can't refute Algore's lies.

W. Picou — posted: 8/03/00 10:15 a.m.
Probably one of his children will develop AIDS or some other popular (?) disease du jour. Either that, or Tipper will flip her wig (of course she's still married to the log, so there is evidence that she already has).

Katherine Therton — posted: 8/03/00 10:15 a.m.
One of two stories, depending on his VP pick. If his VP is a Vietnam veteran, Al will discover that a soldier, whose life Al saved during a desperate fire fight, is now suffering from Agent Orange. . . or if his VP is a woman her will explain how the death of his cousin/ex-girlfriend/staffer from a backalley abortion changed his mind on Roe v. Wade.

Rose Ann Fennessy — posted: 8/02/00 2:00 p.m.
He invented supermarket scanners.

Denis A. Root — posted: 8/02/00 2:00 p.m.
Those mean spirited republicans have no basis to call the democrats attacks on them biased, .therefore Clinton will sit still and be silent, causing a Gore crash in the poles. And Gore will complaun further.

Laurie L. Karnay — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Let's see...the sister who died of lung cancer from smoking those evil cigarettes full of tobacco from the Gore's farms...how about his latent Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) from his "fighting" (well-fighting the tpewriter) years in Vietnam.....

Michael Lewellen — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Given the democrats (specifically both Clinton's) desire to attack Mr. Cheney's voting record, I believe as has happened so many other times with Mr. Gore, that a simple peeking at his record will reveal that both Cheney and Gore shared many votes. It has already been shown many of the democrats currently being endorsed by the Clintons for congress posts have voted with Cheney, specifically on the Nelson Mandela vote. It will be a simple matter to discover how conservative Gore's votes once were. But as with other gaffs of this nature, the media will gloss over them in an effort to shine the best light on their candidate. Fortunately the country isn't listening this year..... Michael

Dave Ruhland — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Mr. Gore will promise to use our military to force the unreasonable Israeli people to give up their homeland to Yassar's Palestinian terrorists. He then promises to find suitable housing for any displaced Israeli citizen in America provided they will live in swing congressional districts and, of course, vote Democratic. He will also accept money from these same victims for helping them to their new homes. He will promise ample jobs in the hightech industry because he invented it. And then he will tell labor Unionists that he is going to promote free trade with the new Pales- tinians so they can build their economy, to pro- weapons instead of having them supplied by other terrorist nations. After all, didn't NAFTA help the labor unions? And lastly, Mr. Gore states, "If I'm elected you won't have Bubba to kick around anymore".

Tony Aponte — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Al will appologize for doing the Macarena and pledge that he and his wife will fight (to thier dying breath) to ban all one-hit wonders.

Michael Ford — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Gore's speeches will become to lively in an attempt to prove that he is not wooden. He will start to act foolishly while on stage and might even say something offensive.

Ronald A. Stone — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Nobody can predict Algore's personal disaster, but he's told of the difficulties of family members in the past. The one I'd like to see would be a story about his father's difficulties with an exploitive, unconcerned, abusive rural landlord who refuses to perform vital repairs on an outhouse.

Lincoln Bandlow — posted: 8/02/00 10:00 a.m.
Gore will reveal that he is actually Colin Powell's long lost brother. He will then claim that any vote against Gore is a vote against the black man and in favor of killing all minorities through a slow death by paper cuts.

Hildegard van Bingen — posted: 8/01/00 3:20 p.m.
Gore's lesbian, single-mom second cousin, when on her way to her volunteer role as a reading teacher to poor children on an Indian reservation in Idaho, was run off the road and injured by a white man in a SUV, who had an anti-abortion bumper sticker and was smoking a cigarette.

mike casper — posted: 8/01/00 3:20 p.m.
I think that V.P. Gore will make a statement on-camera to the effect that if he is elected there will be no more sex in the whitehouse and tipper by his side will nod vigorously.

Greg — posted: 8/01/00 3:20 p.m.
The answer is obvious. Gore will break down in a torrent of tears when he describes what a personal tragedy it was when his chief benefactor,(Stalinist-sympathizer, gulag-supporter, anti-democrat) Arman Hammer died. Hammer would have supported Gore in much the same manner that he would have supported other socialist.

Brett Patron — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
The Veep wanted to resign in protest amid the impeachment controversy but was forced to stay on by the "Clinton machine". In return for his "undying" (pun intended) support, Clinton would back Al for Prez in 2000 (to the chagrin of Hillary - prompting her return to her "roots" in NY). BJP

Robin Witt — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
Hmmm, lemme see.... he's done the relative with cancer.... the offspring in danger.... I get it, he'll have some sort of physical close-call with death, himself!

Bert Snopes — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
I sure hope it is selecting Diane Feinstein as his VP - this would be the coup de grace...

Robert Todd — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
Hello - I guess this is an ego thing... but I was hoping to see my name next to my post (AlGore's struggle with the truth). It's just a little thing (the post) but, since I can't be Jonah, I have to take what I can get. Thanks, Robert Todd

David Jackson — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
The death of Geppetto.

Lincoln Bandlow — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
Gore will discover that a relative of his was shot by a rabid pro-lifer who used a plastic gun and "cop-killer" bullets, and the killer would not have done it but for the fact that Nelson Mandella was kept in jail by Cheney.

He will then claim that the death could have been prevented by trigger locks, which he invented.

He will make this statement from a Buddist Temple, and when asked about a check for $1,000,000 that is seen hanging out his breast pocket, he will say that he can't answer the question because he must go to the restroom, having drank so many ice teas.

While in the restroom, he will look into the mirror and realize that he does not have the slightest idea who it is that is staring back at him, will be utterly ashamed at the meaninglessness of his life, and will quit the race.

Okay, maybe not the last part.

bob jones — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
We are using too much toilet paper; that is, destroying old growth trees. We need to use our hand.

Jeff McKain — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
He will disclose that he went to Canada to prove that socialized medicine works just as well as it does here in the U.S., but that they botched the frontal lobotomy, which is why he is terminally boring, apt to make Walter Mitty-esque "Gorgasms" about inventing water, being the namesake of Alberta Canada, or being a black preacher in a previous life. IT would also explain his inability to control his bladder ("no controlling bladder authority") during illegal fundraising discussions. JCM Cincinnati OH

Mark Finkelstein — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
Beloved, aged, Gore family dog, named "Nelson" in honor of Mandela, killed by stray cop-killer bullet fired from plastic gun. "I held Nelson's paw, and as Nelson took his last breath, I swore that until I took my last breath, I would not stop fighting till every older dog has free veterinary prescription drugs."

The bus broke down and he had to take his car. It was a sad day, knowing he was doing all that damage to the ozone layer, but what could he do? Caught in a web of guilty angst, he forgot to call his wife on their anniversary. This caused untold marital strife for the evening, culminating in his being locked out of the house and having to sleep outside - on the street, no less. SO... He really can relate to street people and the struggles they endure.

And then there was the time when they couldn't afford the expensive drugs required after the surgery their cockle spaniel, Jim-Bob, was forced to endure after a litter of unwanted pups had to be aborted. Their inability to afford the drugs caused an infection to spread which unfortunately caused the poor pooch's premature demise. And that's why he's in favor of free drugs for old b*****s.

How's that? Elders? No, Joycelyn was Bill's problem. OH! Sorry. Free drugs for THE ELDERLY! Yes. That's what I meant. Eric

Joy Loth — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
Al Gore will make his acceptance speech at the convention dressed in the saffron robes of a Buddhist monk. His speech will be a recitation of Buddhist prayers accompanied by his whirling a prayer wheel. An interpreter (Tipper) will explain that now the truth can be known--Al was at that temple converting to Buddhism.

Grant — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
I'm sure that Al held a dying soldier in his arms while in Vietnam. I am also sure that the guy's dying last words was "Invent the Internet".

Carol Conatser — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
Watch for Al Gore to become very teary-eyed and talk about when his mother was young and poor and had to take care of her sick, dying aunt. He will pull out all the stops to tug at our heart-strings! He will be in his 12th reincarnation as Tender-Hearted Al.

pelian — posted: 8/01/00 10:15 a.m.
At the conclusion of a gigantic Democrat fund raiser, Algore will barf spinach all over Tipper.

Dennis Franchetti — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
The Republicans allowed big tobacco to prevent universal prescription drug legislation which in turn caused my father's death.

I think that AlGore will bring us to tears detailing his struggle with the truth. Oh how he yearns to tell the truth but growing up in a the Gore household coupled with his proximity to the World's Greatest Liar has made this almost impossible.

He cries himself to sleep every night with the terrible guilt he feels having told whoppers all day. It's an addiction that causes him such pain.

He suffers pain not unlike the adult children of alcoholics.

Might he unburden himself of this pain by delivering an emotional and emetic oration at the upcoming NEA (er, Democratic) Convention? Tune in tomorrow for the next gut-wrenching episode of "Oh, The Children".

I'm feeling sorry for him already.

Doug Inglish — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
Isn't it obvious? His campaign has, from the beginning, suffered from Attention Deficit Disorder. Time to turn that into an advantage by garnering sympathy from swing voters, Reagan Democrats, and McCain followers, who are just looking for such a reason to come home to the party of Clinton.

And next week, when they discover no change in poll numbers, it will be Restless Leg Syndrome.

Alan L. Anderson — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
It's obvious. Gore will touchingly relate every last detail of his Wife's bouts with mental illness. Though whether he credits said bouts for her decision to marry him remains an open question.

Tom Crowe — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
I do believe that Algore will announce the existence of a long lost brother who has been a P.O.W. in Vietnam and who has reappeared in the U.S. after a harrowing and dangerous escape.

Steve Early — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
Several years ago, Al Gore's son was caught distributing or holding drugs - an apparent attempt to follow daddy's footsteps. This happened during Mr. Gore's tenure as Vice President and he worked vigorously to suppress any reports of the incident. I would not be surprised if Mr. Gore now cites the incident as evidence that we are all susceptible to the evils of drugs. Given his tract record, Mr. Gore will go a step further and wildly exaggerate the story. His son was a Colombian drug lord before Al organized a commando-style family intervention and saved his family. submit=Submit

William Krebs — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
Gore will execute a switheroo and explain how heartless policies of the Republican congress prevented him from improving his property and forced him to rent to the Mayberrys. submit=Submit

Don Rubottom — posted: 7/31/00 1:00 p.m.
Definitely the death of his father will be front and center in his speech. It's one of the most significant events in a man's life, and he can't pass it up for a car wreck or something. He will spin it to relate to senior citizens, since they've all experienced the same thing. Once again, he will, as stated previously in NRO, "cheapen both family tradgedies [and political speeches]".

It would be more noble, and of historical interest to his great-grandchildren, to focus on what his father taught him, rather than his feelings about the death. Of course, if he told us what his father taught him, he would reveal himself as trained to be an ambitious, manipulative, and patronizing politician.