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 his column is
sure to get me in a lot of trouble — possibly with my conservative
audience, but most definitely with one
of
my bosses. As most NRO readers have surely heard by now, National
Review editor Rich Lowry is being wooed by the Conservative
party of New York to run for mayor of New York City. Rich is giving
it some thought. Any counsel that I would give Rich shall remain
between the two of us.
However, whatever Rich does, it seems to this columnist that there
is another candidate who should be the most logical next occupant
of Gracie Mansion. Of course, he is a Democrat, but then again,
the odds favor the next mayor being a Democrat anyway. The question
then is: Who would be the best person?
At the risk of offending all that is good and just in the universe,
it has to be said. It's something that this column has hinted at
before, but the time for beating around the bush is over.
Run, Bill, run.
New York City — not just Harlem — needs Bill Clinton as
its next mayor.
Currently, there are four aspirants to the office: City Council
Speaker Peter Vallone, Public Advocate Mark Green, City Comptroller
Alan Hevesi, and Bronx Borough President Fernando Ferrer. Collectively,
they are four, slow, boring white guys — a pretty major achievement
considering Ferrer is Latino. A poll last week showed that Green
— whose current job is official Gotham gadfly — leads
the pack by a fair margin. The poll also showed that the public
is bored to death by all of them.
Another problem, of course, is that all four Democrats are, in varying
degrees, unapologetic lefties. Not surprisingly, New York state
has about two million more registered Democrats than Republicans
and the city itself is overwhelmingly Democrat. A Republican wins
New York City about once every 20 years.
Even so, none of the current candidates can articulate (or even
fake) a vision for New York City. To varying degrees, they are all
running as the anti-Rudy Giuliani. Ferrer is the token minority
candidate (and the president of the borough in which immigrant Amadou
Diallo was shot). All of them want to be "kinder and gentler" than
Rudy. Of the four, however, only Green has been smart enough to
get the endorsement of former police commissioner Bill Bratton.
Speculation is that this might mean that Bratton (who briefly flirted
with running himself) may want his old job back. At the very least
it means that Green — arguably the most liberal of the candidates
— sees the wisdom of sending the signal that he will pay attention
to the crime problem. On every other issue, Green, like his fellow
musketeers, is pander-city.
There's no denying that New Yorkers have always had a love/hate
relationship with Rudy Giuliani, but there's also no denying that
Rudy has accomplished a lot of what he set out to do. He has been,
and still is, the larger-than-life character that New York City
needs. None of his would-be successors meet that standard. A New
York mayor need not look good, but he has to project a persona that's
big enough to
| “Unlike
the pandering lot running now, Clinton can be depended
upon to pander — just before he screws over the Left.” |
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encompass
four major dailies, two prominent alternative weeklies, and countless
neighborhood and ethnic periodicals. Running the city of New York,
as has been said so often, is the second most difficult job in the
country.
Not a one of these guys fits the bill.
Which brings us back to the one who does: Bill Clinton.
From the outset, let's recognize as a given that Clinton is corrupt.
From Arkansas to his last day in Washington, D.C., everyone knows
that Clinton's first thought is — "what's in it for me and
how can I use this job to meet chicks?"
But the corruption angle would be there regardless of which Democrat
wins. With one-party rule, there always will be lots of unofficial
winking at official actions.
But, let us consider what good Clinton could bring to the position.
First, unlike the pandering lot running now, Clinton can be depended
upon to pander — just before he screws over the Left. This
is not a skill to be underestimated. As president, Clinton sold
out labor on trade. He sold out the Left — from its perspective
— on welfare reform (though we all know it was good for urban
communities). He raised — then dashed — the hopes of those
bent on putting gays in military service. In non-policy areas, he
stiff-armed Jesse Jackson on Sister Souljah and basically flipped
the feminist movement by getting people like Gloria Steinem to support
him on the Monica issue. Feminists, lest we need reminding, thereby
lost any shred of moral authority they once may have had.
Secondly, Clinton can be counted on to marginalize Al Sharpton.
Clinton is the only white person, possibly the only person, with
enough connections in the black community to dodge and weave around
the good reverend. His move to Harlem makes him perfectly poised
to do just that. Even though Clinton is also a chest-thumping racial
demagogue, pushing Sharpton to the sidelines would greatly improve
the dialogue in New York.
Finally — point of personal privilege here — he'll be
great for my day job at the New York Post. Clinton will be
the only mayoral candidate who will be able to give both the gossip
writers of Page Six and the editorial writers an endless supply
of material. To be fair, our competition at the Daily News
would probably be equally ecstatic. Bill, New York's tabloids need
you (the Gray Lady probably does, too).
Granted, there are certain problems with this scenario unfolding.
Not the least of which is that Clinton became "successful" as president
because a Republican Congress forced him into triangulating the
Democrat Left and thereby governing as a relative moderate. There's
no danger that the feckless New York city council would be able
to pull that off. But that just means that the pollsters would put
a check on Bill's designs. Recall how obsessed Ed Koch was with
his public image? That was well before the current poll-obsessed
times. If it looks like Clinton is slipping — which he won't
since he'll be polling 24/7 himself — he won't hesitate to
do what must be done to keep all New Yorkers happy. That includes
the upper-west-side liberals who will become major donors and will
not hesitate to voice their own displeasure if it looks like the
crime rate is ratcheting up.
And yes, based on his previous behavior, we all know that Times
Square will continue its refurbishment. Corporate big shots will
still be true FOBs — and Bill needs them.
The only thing that has to be done now is to get Bill to jump in
the race. It's going to be tough this year since he's raking in
the money (he's going to making a reported $700,000 over the next
few days alone in speeches). However, as one D.C.-based Republican
noted, "He's got to do it. Look, he's already occupied two of the
three best patronage jobs in the country — he's been governor
of a small southern state and he's been president of the United
States. The only one left is being mayor of New York." Think of
all the good the man could do for his friends. And his enemies.
Bill Clinton, we need you.
Run, Bill, run.
Oh, um, you too, Rich.
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