11/24/00 2:20 p.m.
You’re A Mean One, Mr. Gore
The least popular story of the season.

Robert A. George is an editorial page writer
for the New York Post------------------------------------RAGGEDmail@aol.com

The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
— Dr. Seuss

he most popular movie of the holiday season — so far — is a fable concerning a not quite-human green creature whose emptiness of spirit is so overwhelming that he can't stand the thought of the normal people having any fun.

The least popular story of the holiday season — so far — is a nightmare concerning a not quite-human "green" creature whose emptiness of spirit is so overwhelming that he can’t stand the thought of normal people having any fun.

As readers of Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas are aware, the Grinch learned that stealing all the stockings and presents from the residents of Whoville ultimately could not ruin the holiday season.

But such lessons are apparently difficult to come by.

Watching the unfortunate souls of Broward County sifting through the ballots, trying to discern a dimple here, a pimple there, or just a simple tear, one had to feel for them.

Ideology aside, the truth was that these people had lost much of their Thanksgiving Day, all for the greater glory of one Mr. Environment, Mr. Green, Mr. Albert Gore Jr.

Bothered also were the members of the Florida supreme court who were petitioned by the Gore campaign.

Gore's press guy, Doug Hattaway, was asked how he felt trying to force the Miami-Dade canvassing board to come in and count on Thanksgiving Day. Hattaway's basic response? "Well, we had to work today."

You are a mean one, you are not nice
You are a mean one, you are not nice.

Because the Gore-ites had to work, the Broward Count-ers had to work. So too did Craig Waters, spokesman for the Florida supreme court. Waters had to get the members of the court to read Gore's petition to force the Miami-Dade canvassing board back to the counting table. Waters had mentioned earlier in the week that his Aunt Ethel was expecting him for Thanksgiving dinner. But there he was, faxing the Gore team's request to the judges wherever they might be with their families.

Oops! Sorry, Aunt Ethel, the vice president must come first.

The vice president of the United States became the "Gore-inch Who Stole Thanksgiving."

Not surprisingly, the Florida supreme court turned down "with prejudice" Gore's request. Hey, if youwere a member of the highest court in a particular state, and you had given one plaintiff a major victory and then that person turned around two days later to demand even more — in the middle of your holiday, yet! — what would you do?

Gore was lucky that the Florida Supremes didn't call for a recount on their Tuesday ruling.

The Gore campaign then promptly turned around to say they would formally "contest" Miami-Dade's official certification (based on the numbers from the November 8 automatic recount).

The Grinch learned that the residents of Whoville could still go about their lives without having all their presents about. America can celebrate its Thanksgiving — and Christmas too, if need be — without a president elect.

Americans can survive the vanities of politicians. But politicians rarely survive their own vanities forever. Eventually, they are consumed by them. Americans will forgive politicians who soldier on out of principle — but not out of self-interest. The politician who commends ordinary people one day, takes them to court on the second and then forces many to give up their holidays on the third is guaranteed to lose the war, even if he wins one small battle.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots. Tangled up knots.

The Grinch learned; his "small heart" grew three sizes; he finally embraced the spirit of the season.

Mr. Gore, tell us that your heart can grow and end the foolhardiness.