Oh, please.
Suzanne Venker writes:
The truth is that daycare is one of the greatest tragedies of modern America. We’ve become immune to its reality because we have to. When something becomes a bona fide trend, sanctioned by the masses, what else can we do but succumb to it. So rather than face the truth, politicians and pundits talk about ways to improve it — as if it could be. “America suffers a growing national epidemic of parental absence and disconnection. ‘Quality’ in day care cannot solve the problem. It doesn’t even address it,” writes Dr. Fisher.
Daycare is a fine option. Are there crappy daycares out there? Of course. Just as there are bad parents, bad nannys, bad priests, bad policeman, etc.
Good parents will raise good kids, regardless of whether daycare, a nanny, or a stay-at-home mom is the caregiver.
Oh please? Is there any question that most children would benefit from having a mother at home to raise the child versus having surrogates raise the child for 40 hours a week? The fact the optimal situation is not generally possible due to economic constraints does not change the fact that parents raising children is best. Thou dost protest too much Mr. Pollowitz.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseDo you realize that your entire argument amounts to "she's wrong?" Perhaps, you could elaborate or respond to her. Many of us feel that children are best raised by parents not surrogates. Perhaps we're right; perhaps we're wrong. But at least make an argument.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseMe thinks you just proved the lady correct in some respects.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOh, please.
Daycare is a fine option. Are there cr*ppy daycares out there? Of course. Just as there are bad parents, bad nannys, bad priests, bad policeman, etc.
Bad parents won't mind about daycare; bad nannies are bad, too; we don't normally turn our children over to the care of bad priests and bad policeman when they are infants for the better part of their waking hours.
If you have an argument, I'm sure you can improve on "oh, please."
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse*or good priests or good policemen or priests or policemen of any stripe
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseRead some things on child development. She provided you with a few facts. "Oh, please," is no rebuttal.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseWow. Strange content indeed for a blog called "The Home Front." You couldn't be more wrong. Add the following to everything Suzanne wrote:
Why daycare may harm fussy tots
External Link
See also: Daycare is bad for high-need babies External Link
"Daycare workers are hirelings who neither love nor know their charges. That's not their fault; they aren't their parents. Some daycare employees like kids a lot, which helps, and others aren't crazy about dealing with kids all day, but prefer it to the alternative: manning the fry machine at MacDonald's.
In cases when children do form a bond of affection and trust with their keepers, it can't be counted on to last. Turnover is high. Too bad for the eighteen-month old who goes to "school" on Monday and finds that Miss Laurie is gone and is never coming back. Kids can experience grief, too, when they "graduate" into an older room and lose that special person. This happens routinely in a KinderCare-style institution and those losses accumulate over the years. No one really pretends this is the best way to raise children.
Daycare workers will tell you that Mondays and the first days back after several days' absence are frustrating for them because the kids are extra whiny and tearful. Home is where their hearts are.
Strep, influenza, pink-eye, norovirus, rotavirus, hand-foot-mouth disease, impetigo, and more spread rapidly in the daycare setting. Some centers are better than others at cleaning and practicing disease-preventive measures, but it's a losing battle. Sick workers can't always afford to take a day off without pay. And anyway, they're needed by the center to keep the ratios within legal limits.
Sensitive, irritable, rough, or otherwise difficult kids get the worst treatment because they need the most patience and care from their "teachers," not all of whom are able to do so with a smile. Quiet, compliant kids also lose in this situation, getting whatever scraps of time and attention aren't consumed by their more demanding peers.
Oh well, parents and caregivers say; kids are so resilient! Turns out some of them aren't."
Merely asserting that daycare is harmless won't make it so.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseOh please is right.
Good parents raise good kids, plain and simple. Each family's reality dictates what that family needs to do to raise them successfully.
The stay at home holier-than-thou crowd are advocates of conformity to their vision of how to raise a family. I will keep my own counsel on what is best for my family and continue to do everything I can to raise respectful and curious kids.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseYour obvious guilt is not mitigated by trying to cover it with scorn for those who have committed their lives to their children not to a self-indulgent focus like yours. Day care is a poor substitute for a loving and protective home.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseGet ready for it Greg. Guilt tripping stay-at-home moms are all over NR today. I wrote more extensively to the original article so to briefly summarize:
Sending your kids to daycare or staying home both have their pros and cons. Parents of kids in daycare readily admit there are pros and cons to daycare. However, there is a subset of stay-at-home moms who refuse to admit there are any pros to daycare, just as improved ability to socialize and learning to share.
Not all daycares are equal, but daycare as an institution is not wrong. It's a decision that each family has to make based on several variables. My kids go to a quality daycare run by our church and our kids are happy, well adjusted, and smart.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseI'm not a mom and not trying to guilt trip you. But, is their any doubt that children are better off if raised by parents and not surrogates (financial considerations aside)?
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseFinancial considerations aside, it would be best if BOTH parents stayed home.
It's not easy to put financial considerations aside. It's why any of us work.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseYou've been repeating this "daycare kids are better socialized" baloney over and over.
I don't know what kind of stay-at-home parents you know--weird shut-ins?--but I've been one for ten years, and a huge part of the reason for doing so was FOR the socialization. and not just any old random kids who happen to be in the same daycare room, but families who we choose to spend time around because we like them, and they reinforce our values.
Over the years we've done playgroups, story and craft time at the library, playdates, trips to museums/parks/playgrounds, church activities and so much more, almost always in the company of other moms and children. My kids are very confident and comfortable socially and always have been, and in my experience this is the rule and not the exception. I'm not sure whose reality your strange assumption that if a child is not in daycare, he must be sitting in his crib talking to the wall all day, reflects.
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseTwo words - twin studies
As long as provide a first world lifestyle, meaning no starvation or abuse, parenting style does not matter, nor does daycare.
Read "Selfish Reasons to have more kids"
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThis is Suzanne Venker -- can't figure out how to respond on my login page, sorry. The two paragraphs below were plucked from a book I wrote in 2004. Thought it would offer some perspective. And for the record: I'm not suggesting we "do away with daycare," as someone wrote. I'm pointing out that the sheer number of children in daycare, along with the number of hours they spend there, make the whole business unworkable. If parents who could afford to stay home would do so -- which is an incredibly huge number since daycare is now a socially accepted option for just anyone -- then daycare could stand a fighting chance for the families that are truly in need.
On October 19, 2000, Katie Couric of the Today show interviewed Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute and author of the book Ask the Children. The focus of the segment was whether daycare could be good for children. After Galinsky told Couric how she thought daycare could be a positive experience for children—helping them learn leadership skills, for example—Couric asked her whether or not she thought there were any downsides to daycare. Galinsky responded hesitantly, “Well, yes, daycare can be harmful.”
Then Couric asked her how it could be harmful, to which Galinsky responded, “Well, when it isn’t good.” Couric then asked what percentage of daycare centers are considered good -- and Galinsky answered, “About 12 percent.”
Reply to this commentLinkReport AbuseThis is Suzanne Venker -- can't figure out how to respond on my login page, sorry. The two paragraphs below were plucked from a book I wrote in 2004. Thought it would offer some perspective. And for the record: I'm not suggesting we "do away with daycare," as someone wrote. I'm pointing out that the sheer number of children in daycare, along with the number of hours they spend there, make the whole business unworkable. If parents who could afford to stay home would do so -- which is an incredibly huge number since daycare is now a socially accepted option for just anyone -- then daycare could stand a fighting chance for the families that are truly in need.
On October 19, 2000, Katie Couric of the Today show interviewed Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute and author of the book Ask the Children. The focus of the segment was whether daycare could be good for children. After Galinsky told Couric how she thought daycare could be a positive experience for children—helping them learn leadership skills, for example—Couric asked her whether or not she thought there were any downsides to daycare. Galinsky responded hesitantly, “Well, yes, daycare can be harmful.”
Then Couric asked her how it could be harmful, to which Galinsky responded, “Well, when it isn’t good.” Couric then asked what percentage of daycare centers are considered good -- and Galinsky answered, “About 12 percent.”
Reply to this commentLinkReport Abuse