April 26, 2006, 7:43 a.m.
Larry King Live, May 5, 2006
By Rob Long

EDITOR'S NOTE: This piece appears in the May 8, 2006, issue of National Review.

LARRY KING: "Tomorrow night! Remembering Don Knotts! A surprising hour! From Chicago, Illinois, you're on with our guest, Judas Iscariot! Hello!"

CALLER: "Hi, Larry. Hi, Judas. Can I call you Judas?"

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "Of course."

CALLER: "It's just that I feel like I've known you all my life, so I feel like I can call you Judas. I just want to say that I just finished your gospel, which I loved, and I'd like to know if you have any more books planned?"

LARRY KING: "Good question. Is this thing the start of a franchise? I keep thinking Da Vinci Code, I keep thinking Narnia."

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "No, no, Larry. It's just the one gospel. At least for now."

LARRY KING: "But they gotta be after you, right? Phone ringing off the hook? Books, movies, right?"

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "Honestly, Larry, I live a quiet life. You know, when they quote unquote found my gospel — the publishing world is crazy, I wrote the damn thing 2,000 years ago and have been pushing it and pushing it and pushing it, suddenly it's out there and I'm a quote unquote overnight success — anyway, they find it, we make a deal — "

LARRY KING: "Was it a good deal?"

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "You know what, Larry? It was fair. I can't complain about the deal."

LARRY KING: "Thirty pieces of silver, and all that? Kidding!"

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "Listen, Larry, you gotta have a sense of humor about life."

LARRY KING: "Here I am the Jew talking about pieces of silver! Gotta tread careful with this stuff, am I right?"

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "Interestingly, Larry, I'm Jewish too."

LARRY KING: "Yeah, but not from Brooklyn."

JUDAS ISCARIOT: "No. From the Levant. But as you know, we were all of us, all of the apostles, originally of the Jewish faith before . . ."

LARRY KING: "The original Jews for Jesus! Good stuff. Tuesday! Erectile dysfunction! The whole hour! From Baton Rouge, Louisiana, hello!"

CALLER: "Hi, Larry. I'd like to ask your guest how he feels about the way he's been portrayed in the media for the past 2,000 years. . . ."

YOU CAN READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE IN THE CURRENT ISSUE OF THE DIGITAL VERSION OF NATIONAL REVIEW. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION TO NR DIGITAL OR NATIONAL REVIEW, YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR A SUBSCRIPTION TO NATIONAL REVIEW here OR NATIONAL REVIEW DIGITAL here (a subscription to NR includes Digital access).

*   *   *

YOU’RE NOT A SUBSCRIBER TO NATIONAL REVIEW? Sign up right now! It’s easy: Subscribe to National Review here, or to the digital version of the magazine here. You can even order a subscription as a gift: print or digital!