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hope is there for the rest of us when Queen Elizabeth II struck
out in the daughters-in-law department? Here's a
mother of sons who holds the keys to the castle and doles out hefty
allowances in currency on which her stern countenance appears. She
commands all the queen's horses and all the queen's men and yet
she winds up with her sons married to women who must make her wistful
for the Tower of old.
Altogether it's a depressing spectacle for this mother with her
own princes who frets about future daughters-in-law.
Number One Windsor son hooked up with a dim neurotic, number two
landed a loony exhibitionist, and now we learn that number three
is stuck with an indiscreet opportunist. Princess Sophie, Edward's
bride, was caught in a tabloid sting operation trolling for PR clients
by dissing the prime minister and dishing dirt on her fellow royals.
Buckingham Palace was so desperate that the secretly taped remarks
not become public, a deal was made with the tabloid. Sophie granted
an exclusive interview about her married sex life, which ran under
the headline: "Sophie: My Edward is NOT gay." Not a happy family
moment, but what's a mother to do?
Predictably, the tabloid went ahead and published the embarrassing
transcript and Sophie was called to the Windsor Woodshed. After
a talking to by the Queen, Sophie announced that she was stepping
aside as head of her PR firm. With all her clout, this humiliated
mother-in-law ("the poor old dear" in Sophie's words) can only use
the royal broom to sweep up after the kids.
My own future daughters-in-law will be holding a royal flush. I
can hear it now: "But honey, why do you want to spend this lovely
summer day driving 20 miles to see your mom when the children visited
with her just last fall?" And I won't be able to call out the fleet.
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