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Sarah’s speech



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Sarah Palin is preparing to take the stage at the Republican convention, and here is a sneak preview of what she might say (as told to Claudia Rosett):

There are a few more things you need to know about me.

As a troubled teen-ager, I myself used cocaine and marijuana (yes, I inhaled), and as an adult, I attended and took my family to (and my inspiration from) a church where the preaching included hate-speech about America and assorted ethnic and religious groups.

In my business career, before entering politics, I had talents that allowed me, simply by reading the newspaper, to earn a 10,000% return on a $1,000 investment in cattle futures in the space of 10 months.

While holding elected office, my experience included the pursuit of assorted adulterous liaisons, including intimate activities in my landmark government office with an intern less than half my age, though as I regard it, I did not have sex with that person (depending on the meaning of “is”). When I got caught, my spouse denounced my critics as members of a vast political conspiracy.

I could add a great deal more to this list (though please remember that when I got caught taking home state silverware, I eventually did send it back), but let us now turn to the mighty issue of the hour…

That scene, of course, is fantasy, as Claudia Rosett points out: “Sarah Palin won’t say these words, because they do not apply to her. But they do apply to the three most prominent political figures who paraded across the stage at the Democratic convention in Denver last week, Barack Obama, and Hillary and Bill Clinton — to wild ovations from the crowd.”


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