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today's college kids, it is not too late.
The sexual revolution has not been kind to women, a fact we see
when we look at the numbers of divorced and single women, some trying
to have kids without men in their lives. We all know the story by
now; the feminists told them they could have everything. Some of
them are still looking for everything, but many realize real life
requires choices, priorities, and responsibilities.
That's one generation unhappy, but there's no reason we can't learn
from our mistakes.
A study called "Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Hoping for Mr. Right
— College Women on Dating and Mating Today," released last
week from the indispensable Institute
for American Values, commissioned by the Independent
Women's Forum, found that girls on college campuses want what's
good: marriage. Alas, the sexual-freedom message, with a few warnings
about potential illnesses thrown in for good measure, still abounds
on their campuses. At least in practice.
In the survey, 83 percent of college girls agreed that "being married
is a very important goal for me," and 63 percent agreed that, "I
would like to meet my future husband in college."
That goal, however, is very far from the reality of their daily
lives on campus. According to the respondents, "hooking up" is the
norm, a nebulous phrase that covers anything from kissing to sex.
In the national survey, 40 percent said they had experienced a hook
up, and one in ten reported having done so more than six times.
Many times, both parties were drunk.
And despite their stated goals, 88 percent of those responding said
they were generally happy with the social scene on campus. Could
it be that they just don't know any better?
Many of the girls who responded, coming from divorced homes, are
especially eager to get married. But they're not so sure the marriages
will work.
Someone should hit the feminists at the National Organization of
Women over the head with the findings. Kim Gandy, the new president
of NOW, is famous for downplaying the importance of marriage in
the lives of women. It's not the 60s anymore, though. We've seen
the fruits of the sexual revolution. They are not pretty. Even Gloria
Steinem is married in 2001.
So, what can help these college kids have happy, healthy, loving,
married lives? The report does a good job of hitting on the main
solution: A little interest on the part of the adults in their lives.
Perhaps Amy and Leon Kass, married authors of Wing
to Wing, Oar to Oar: Readings on Courting and Marrying,
and professors of a courtship class, can take their class on tour.
Maybe the generation that screwed up can acknowledge that a little
louder. How about some single-sex dorms? A different kind of White
House can't hurt either, where the president is not using young
interns for sexual favor and where federal money isn't being thrown
to more condoms-in-the-classroom sex-ed programs.
It's definitely time for Americans, in some public way, to embrace
marriage, rather than downplay it and devalue it. (Think what you
will of the proposed
Federal Marriage Amendment, it is a clear statement in support
of a hurting institution, on the verge of endangerment.) Today's
college-age women often have parents who discourage early marriage.
The Mr. Right study makes a good point. Where else but college will
you be around so many unmarried males your own age? College marriage
isn't as bad as the feminists might think. Could it possibly be
better than endless hook-ups, possibly capped off, come the thirties
or later, with artificial parenthood?
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