Hands Off My Tasty Trashy Beverages

by Robert VerBruggen

Four Loko should remain on the market because (A) it’s delicious, at least in its fruit-punch variety, and (B) the government has no business telling adults what they can put in their own bodies on their own property.

If private schools want to ban the stuff, fine; if the FDA wants to require a stronger warning, fine (so long as it’s accurate); if stores want to refuse to sell it, fine; if state and local governments want to crack down on underage purchases, fine (though I’d like to see the drinking age dropped to 18). But the fact that some adults (these students were not of drinking age, but presumably they were adults) are incapable of moderating their intake is no reason to keep all adults from buying this marvel of mixology.

Further, it’s no more alcoholic than wine. The only difference is that Four Loko has caffeine, which last time I checked was not even an age-restricted substance. Well, that, and it comes in 23-ounce cans stamped with a ridiculous logo.

Phi Beta Cons

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