Four Loko Update!

by Robert VerBruggen

Regarding the New York quasi-ban, the New York Times has an update to the story NPR and Reason reported yesterday. In addition to Four Loko’s manufacturer’s agreeing to stop shipping to New York, it seems that distributors have agreed to stop delivering all alcoholic energy drinks in the state by December 10.

Farewell, Joose. Since piquing my curiosity at Duane Reade a couple of months ago, you have livened up a few nighttime video-game sessions, and for that I thank you. I apologize for my wife’s rudeness in complaining about the way you smell.

Also, the FDA is planning to decide whether it’s legal to sell a mix of two completely legal substances:

A year after it began reviewing whether energy drinks that combine alcohol and caffeine are safe or legal, the Food and Drug Administration is expected to take a stand on the drinks as soon as Wednesday, according to law enforcement officials in several states.

The agency declined to say what it would do, but several food safety lawyers who once worked for it said a likely option was to use warning letters to inform manufacturers that the drinks were adulterated and, therefore, not safe.

I’m not quite sure what an unadulterated energy drink or malt liquor would look like (is it fresh-squeezed from the Loko fruit? bottled straight from the Joose fountain?), but there you have it. At last, the problem of college drunkenness has been solved.

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