The Climatologist’s Song (with Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)

by Steven F. Hayward

I don’t know where this came from — and I hope the author will step forward and let is know — but this is fun:

I am the very model of a modern climatologist
I’m partly statistician, partly paleo-phrenologist
I’ve temperature readings from thermometers coniferous
my data are the same (or not, well, maybe) as Keith Briffa has
I bought them from a bloke who brought them hotfoot from Siberia
and mixed them with some algae from the mud in Lake Superior.
When counting different isotopes I’m really in my element
and sucking up to journalists from
Guardian Environment
I know what makes the tree-rings from Siberia to the Rockies tick
And I can make spaghetti and transform it to a hockey stick.
My data’s got dark matter that would shatter a cosmologist
I am the very model of a modern climatologist

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