Simple ways to save the planet. Hmm, let’s see. Change light bulbs, car pool, block sunlight with dust particles shot from the earth, and, oh yeah, artificial meat. UK scientists say lab-grown “meat” would slash emissions and help clean up the planet. The Guardian reports:

According to the analysis by scientists from Oxford University and Amsterdam University, lab-grown tissue would produce greenhouse gases at up to 96% lower levels than raising animals. It would require between 7% and 45% less energy than the same volume of conventionally produced meat such as pork, beef and lamb or mutton, and could be engineered to use only 1% of the land and as little as 4% of the water associated with conventional meat.

Tuomisto predictes that, if more resources are put into the research, the first commercially available lab-grown meat would be possible within five years. The first samples are likely to be rather like mincemeat in texture, and producing steaks could take at least five years longer, in her view. “We can demonstrate that it is possible, but it is very expensive. Getting to [commercial production] depends on more money being put into this research,” she said.

Given the environmental and economic benefits, Tuomisto urged environmental organisations and governments to consider funding the research. Already, the anti-meat organisation People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is funding some research.

You want to grow faux meat in petri dishes? Be my guest. Just don’t ask for taxpayers to prop you up, and don’t invite me to your dinner party.