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Man ‘From The Future’ Arrested At Large Hadron Collider

Via cnet:
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment’s vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year. Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his ‘time machine power unit’, a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Well, we don't know he's NOT from the future. Maybe we should carbon date him just to be sure. Or, at the very least, waterboard him. The future of the world could be at stake! But what's even funnier is that "Mountain Dew" is somehow critical to the success of the project. Yellow No. 5 rearing it's head yet again. . . - Greg Pollowitz


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