. . .Then she describes a skit she would want to perform if asked to host “Saturday Night Live”: picture Vonn at Woods’ podium, blue backdrop and all. “There’s something you don’t know about me,” Vonn says in a faux solemn, apologetic voice. “Tiger, you’re like my idol, and I too have a sex problem.” More laughter. “That would be freaking funny.”

Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi, who is suffering from terminal prostate cancer, no longer receives hospital treatment after ending the course of chemotherapy that he had been given after returning to his homeland last August. Professor Karol Sikora, the London-based doctor who examined Megrahi and predicted he would be dead by last October, admitted this weekend that the fact the bomber is still alive might be “difficult” for the families of the 270 victims of the attack.

A nap during the day doesn’t just beat tiredness, but actually improves the brain’s ability to absorb new information, claim US scientists. Volunteers who slept for 90 minutes during the day did better at cognitive tests than those who were kept awake.

. . . Under the new policy, $1.5 billion that had been reserved for the bank bailout will be rerouted to five states that have seen housing prices drop more than 20% since 2006: Nevada, California, Michigan, Florida and Arizona.

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – Although a U.S. Baptist group said it was trying to rescue 33 “orphans” by taking them out of earthquake-ravaged Haiti, all the children have close family still alive, The Associated Press has found.

The Tibetan spiritual leader says embattled golfer’s self-professed Buddhist faith can provide the necessary discipline, but admits he — somehow — has never heard of Tiger Woods.

It was not Susan Sarandon’s night at The Box, where throngs of partygoers stayed from late Thursday into the early morning to help the Lower East Side burlesque club ring in its third anniversary. Sarandon, who recently separated from Tim Robbins, got an unpleasant party favor when transsexual performer Rose Wood vomited on stage directly onto the Oscar winner.

Spanx, the company long famed for squeezing in girl parts with its control-top tights, is now expanding its line to include T-shirts that hide a man’s stomach. Spanx’s new “cotton compression” undershirts for men are super-strength tees designed to suck in your belly (otherwise known as those 25 extra pounds you’ve packed on since college). The company boasts that the shirt “firms chest,” “narrows waistline,” “flattens stomach.” Its slogan: “Game on.”

Bush administration lawyers who wrote memos that paved the way for waterboarding of terrorism suspects and other harsh interrogation tactics “exercised poor judgment” but will not face discipline for their actions, according to long-awaited Justice Department documents released Friday.

The Environmental (mental being the operative word) Left, in their embracing of the hoax commonly known as Global Warming ™, have irrefutably become what they always sneer at: Religious. Or, as they prefer to call it “magical belief systems”. Because, if the following isn’t magic, then I don’t know what is.

Here’s hilarious video of a Golf Channel anchor crying – yes crying – over the Tiger Woods apology from today.

Laugh if you will, but also give the International Olympic Committee credit for acting like a responsible parent: In addition to handing out condoms, they run HIV and AIDS information campaigns in the Olympic Village. And the U.S. Curling Association has gone a step further: In partnership with Kodiak Technology Group, they have introduced the Hurry Hard condom, named for a phrase curlers chant to get their teammates to sweep the ice faster. Proceeds from the prophylactics — which sport a happy cartoon curling stone on their label above the slogan “Be smart, stay safe” — are split between USA Curling and Monterey County AIDS prevention.

Over the course of a pleasant (really!) conversation with USA WEEKEND Magazine, Beck, 46, sheds light on the lesser-known sides of his personality. He comes across as, well, fairly human — and eager to reveal these 10 things that we bet you didn’t know about him.

. . . [John] Napier, the driver for two of America’s six Olympic men’s bobsled teams, wants to do two remarkable things. First, he wants to win a gold medal in these Olympics, something no American bobsledder has done in 62 years. Then he wants to leave immediately and go fight in Afghanistan.

Florida Governor Charlie Crist, who is in a primary battle for Mel Martinez’s U.S. Senate seat, has agreed to debate former Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio on “FOX News Sunday” on March 28th. As we previously noted, Rubio had agreed to the Chris Wallace-moderated debate, but Crist had not yet accepted. A NBC “Meet the Press” debate could potentially also be in the works, but Rubio has yet to accept that.

It turns out that it was rapper LMFAO who got into a confrontation with Mitt Romney on that plane from Vancouver. Stick around until the part where Mr. LMFAO accuses Romney of using a “condor” or “Vulcan” grip on him.

Sean Penn will be charged with criminal battery and vandalism today, in connection with a run-in with the paparazzi … TMZ has learned. The incident occurred last October in Brentwood, CA. TMZ captured the confrontation as an angry Penn approached and kicked a paparazzo, allegedly breaking his camera. We’ve learned the Los Angeles City Attorney will file two misdemeanor counts later today — battery and vandalism. If convicted on both counts, Penn could go to jail for 1 1/2 years.

The National Enquirer is now legit, according to the Pulitzer Prize Board. The body behind journalism’s most prestigious award conceded Thursday that the self-proclaimed tabloid can compete with mainstream news outlets for its prizes. Because it broke the story about former presidential candidate John Edwards’s mistress and love child, the Enquirer’s staff is eligible for the Pulitzer in two categories: “Investigative Reporting” and “National News Reporting.”

Princella Smith, 26, will announce on Saturday that she is running for Congress in Arkansas’s 1st District. Some would say she is too young. Others might point to other potential hurdles: She’s running in eastern Arkansas, a district that hasn’t elected a Republican since 1872 in a Southern state that has never elected a black person to a congressional or state-wide office. “I think I’m the person to do this,” Smith said. “I’m going to tell people to come on board with me, listen to these ideas, and that we can get people excited again about the Republican Party.”

PATERSON, N.J. – Sen. Frank Lautenberg, at 86 the nation’s second oldest U.S. senator, has curable lymphoma of the stomach, his office said Friday. Doctors for the Democrat found B-cell lymphoma that will require treatment over the next few months, spokesman Caley Gray said in a news release. Lautenberg will undergo six to eight chemotherapy treatments and should make a “full and complete recovery,” said Dr. James Holland of New York City’s Mount Sinai Medical Center.