Not Satan, Not Really
A closer look at what MTV has wrought.

By Michael Long, a director of the White House Writers Group
August 4-5, 2001

here is plenty of tut-tutting to be done in consideration of what MTV has wrought, on the occasion of its 20th anniversary. But consider MTV a little deeper than knee-jerk rejection. Yes, yes, I know, you're a conservative, not only are you not supposed to like MTV, you're supposed to be ready on a moment's notice to delivery a stinging rebuke (is there any other kind, really?) of everything MTV has done to this old world.

I submit, however, that every negative thing (and come on, they're all going to be negative things — I know how you are) that we might trace to the influence of MTV would have happened whether or not Martha Quinn, J. J. Jackson, and the gang had signed on — as MTV once put it — "for the last time" on August 1, 1981: Teenagers pierce any — and I mean any — body part they can get two fingers around; melody is of minor interest in the composition of the bestselling popular music (I'm thinking of rap music — I refuse to call it "hip hop" because 1) it just sounds stupid and 2) the phrase and lifestyle of "hip hop culture" gain a bit wider acceptance with every use of the words outside of a knife fight — no way am I gonna help out that cause); young people still dress like surly hoodlums headed for a police lineup; and casual sex is still the most popular aerobic activity among those who can secure such companionship.

A couple of trends suggest themselves here. First off, kids will be kids. You know it, I know it, and the American people know it, to quote Senator Robert J. Dole, who knows it so well that he now makes commercials with Britney Spears and cracks wise on David Letterman. Teenagers are going to purposefully and frequently offend their elders (except apparently, Senator Dole, whom they seem to like a lot), pursue previously unpursued avenues of expression, and cause writers like me to overuse the word "surly" (see paragraph 2).

For another thing, culture is, when it comes to morals, just about always going to trend downward. It was Whitaker Chambers, after all, who said in coming over to the conservative cause that he was joining the losing side of history. So while we should never stop standing astride the world shouting "stop!", we should at least stop acting surprised when the SUV of decadence rolls over our penny-loafers anyway.

Speaking of loafers, let's get back to MTV. Is MTV responsible for, as Nine Inch Nails put it, the Downward Spiral? Well, sure, but that's not really germane. Getting wound up by the behavior of youth is as great and old a tradition as avoiding eye contact with the hairy, male escorts of biker chicks. Look at how wound up the world got over Elvis. Does he bug you today? If Bill Buckley came around, I guess the rest of us can, too. The Beatles caused what you may recall as at least a minor stir. Yet today, the drug-soaked "Strawberry Fields Forever" is an elevator-music favorite.

But wait, you say, there's never been anything as decadent as MTV. Well, bucko, yes there has been. For instance, let's recall America's Lesser Sweetheart of 1958, Little Richard — a cross-dressing screamer (and a black man in a Caucasian world, no less), who played the piano as if it were a rectangular conga drum and who baldly informed his young listeners of, among other things, a certain Miss Molly's affection for, well, intercourse. If you think Marilyn Manson's whiny little poses feel like the end of the world, imagine June and Ward Cleaver trying to fit Little Richard behind the white picket fences. Wop bob a lu-bah, indeed.

What in the world could MTV do to top that? Not much. The fact is, MTV affected our culture profoundly, but whatever has happened would have happened anyway. Maybe a little slower, maybe even a little faster. MTV just happened to win the cultural lottery, it was in the right place at the right time, and the prize was to get to show the way to the next generation's level of prurience.

That's always the prize. And every generation has its MTV, whether in the form of musical performer, means of expression, new technology, or whatever. MTV happens to be ours.

So, optimist that I am, I invite you to join me in creating your own roll-call of fun things that MTV produced. Garbage is always in the pipeline and headed our way, that's just the way of the world. MTV happened to be the highway. So why not focus on the slivers of "cool" that got through, too? Consider the pre-post-ironic humor of Adam Sandler; hyper-fast editing that infected (and often improved) movies and TV; the mental fast-food of music videos; the delight of having something as silly and pretentious as MTV News to kick around; the first widely broadcast disgrace (the "boxers or briefs" answer) of Bill Clinton; the genius of animator and satirist Mike Judge; the exposure of the hypocritical "money first" philosophy of "leftist" bands such as Rage Against The Machine; the contribution — no matter how small — toward bringing the angelic visage of Daisy Fuentes to the nation's TV screens in general, and mine in particular.

As Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead, so often put it, "Huh huh huh. That was cool." And as the old-timey gospel tune goes, "It will help us every day / It will brighten all the way / if we'll keep on the sunny side of life." Friends, metalheads, countrymen, surely we can meet in the middle.