Politics & Policy

“The Passion of The Christ”

Special Unitarian Edition(tm)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article appears in the March 22, 2004, issue of National Review.

FADE IN:

INT. SMALL CANDLELIT ROOM

It’s the Last Supper. The Apostles are gathered around the table, with their spouses (and spouse-equivalents). Jesus sits at the center of the table, gazing wisely at his company.

JESUS

A simple meal, yes, but a fine one.

PETER

What’s interesting is that the bread and the wine were both produced in a sustainable way.

JESUS

Really? I didn’t know that.

ANDREW

We know a guy who produces all of his own stuff, totally organically. You should try his artisan cheeses.

JESUS

That would be nice. But I may not have time to do it. I don’t have much time left to walk among you.

PETER

What? Why?

JESUS

One of you will betray me, one who is eating with me now.

ANDREW

What are you talking about? That’s crazy!

JAMES

One of us? C’mon!

JESUS

Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just sharing info, here.

JUDAS

Excuse me, I hate to interrupt, but I’ve been going over the bill, and did somebody order a separate entrée?

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