Politics & Policy

The Candidates’ Diaries

The Ladies Edition(tm) (Part One). ("The Long View")

EDITOR’S NOTE:

This article appears in the August 23, 2004, issue of National Review.

From “My Campaign Diary,” as dictated by Teresa Heinz Kerry:

…which was absolutely nuts and I told him so, really, just flat-out said that there’s no way, no way, I’m going to pay fifty dollars for a paraffin hand dip when I have Estrella back at home–the one in Washington–who will do it for free. Well, not for free, but as part of her regular duties around the house–the one in Washington–while I’m on the phone or whatever and she’s ironing the sheets or whatever she does to them that makes them smooth and smelling like I like them to. And he looked at me and said, “Ma’am, at salons in Ohio, a paraffin hand dip is fifty dollars,” and I was about to say, “Well, you can take your Ohio and you can shove it up your…” but just then John appeared alongside me–I think he had gone into the pastry shop next door to shake hands with some of the people who mill about these kinds of places, and to buy one of those roundish fried pastries that fat people eat so many of, what are those? The round things? Estrella would know. She’s fat. Why is it that so many people are fat? Anyway, he appeared with some kind of cardboard valise containing, I suppose, those round pastries, and guided me out of the salon before I really had a chance to get into it with the man who wanted fifty dollars for a hand dip, which was really outrageous. If people know you have money they just think they can get away with the most insane behavior…

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