1. “Global test”
2. Hamsters
3. Did he serve in Vietnam?
4. Botox
5. He’s the liberal senator from Massachusetts
6. Teresa
7. The Supreme Court
8. John Edwards’s hair
9. Your new tax bracket
10. Emma Claire and Jack Edwards (Sure, they seem like adorable little kids, but they’ll become annoying — most little kids who aren’t yours do.)
11. Trial lawyers
12. Bob Shrum (If the curse of the Bambino must end, we need the curse of Shrum to survive.)
13. Alan Colmes must not enjoy this triumph over Sean Hannity
14. Al Franken
15. Dana Milbank
16. Michael Moore
17. Dan Rather
18. Richard Clarke
19. Madeleine Albright
20. Ann Lewis
21. Paul Begala
22. James Carville
23. Joe Lockhart
24. Chris Lehane
25. Chief Justice Hillary Rodham Clinton
26. Attorney General Eric Holder
27. FBI Director Jamie Gorelick
28. U.N. Ambassador Chuck Hagel
29. Defense Secretary Carl Levin
30. HUD Secretary Al Sharpton
31. Little League on the White House lawn replaced by badminton in whites — or croquet
32. Increased U.N. oversight in Iraq
33. Sunset of the Patriot Act and the institutionalization of “the wall”
34. Nuclear know-how and enriched uranium for Iran
35. EU and U.N. pressure on Israel
36. “Constructive engagement” with Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran
37. Vice President Edwards in charge of tort reform
38. Importation of cheaper prescription drugs from Canada
39. Plan to balance the budget within four years revised: Administration will work to reverse annual deficit increases by 2015.
40. Taxpayer bailouts of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, as well as the airline industry
41. The Kyoto Treaty
42. The International Criminal Court
43. Boston has already won a more important victory.
44. A Catholic president should be allowed to take communion.
45. He voted against the first Gulf War — a war that had met the “global test.”
46. He accused his fellow soldiers of war crimes — while the North Vietnamese were holding American POWs.
47. He has not made clear whether he met with the enemy in France.
48. State dinner for French president Jacques Chirac
49. Special envoy Bill Clinton
50. Energy Secretary Gray Davis
51. Secretary of State Richard Holbrooke
52. White House weddings for Vanessa and Alexandra
53. Importation of price controls from Canada
54. Terrorism as a “nuisance”
55. The Red Sox cap
56. “Zshen-jis Khan”
57. The mustard-colored jacket