Politics & Policy

The Scotus Diaries . . .

Rob Long guesses what the justices might be saying about Miers.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This piece appears in the November 7, 2005, issue of National Review.

From the diary of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg:. . . and let me just say, oy, that meshugge shiksa, she gets me into her chambers, wants to have a “get to know you” lunch, to which I’m thinking, all right, okay, she’s a newbie, they gave her a lot of trouble, a lot of tsuris to get here to the bench. But she got here, and it hasn’t been too bad, kine-ahora, coulda been a lot worse. Ruthie, I said to myself, make nice to the Christian lady, be a mensch here, we’re all just as G-d made us, or whatever, and so I say, sure, Harriet, would love to stop by for a nosh and a kibbitz. She looks at me like I’m tummeling her. What do I get from the Yiddish? Bubkes! So I explain that, yeah, I’d love to have lunch. Gotta remember that some of these goyim don’t know from the language. Anyway. We get into the room and she’s got some mishegoss all laid out for lunch. Do I know from this stuff? She’s kvelling over there. It’s Frito Chili Pie, she tells me, a Texas favorite. You take a bag of Fritos, slit it down the side, fill it up with hot chili and top with cheese. Bubbala, I say to her, if I eat this chazerei I’m gonna hear a “messa mashee af deer” from my kishka! Again with the blank look from that one, so I take a tiny bite, and you know, honestly, not bad. Salty, but good salty. So we fress, me and Harriet, like mishpocha, you know? It was nice. Ruthie, I said to myself, you did a mitzvah. We start talking and showing pictures and schmoozing. And then she starts in with the Roe and the Wade and the this and the that, and the meshugge goy, you know, she makes a lot of good points. On the state issue, especially, her reasoning, if I summarize it correctly, seems to turn on a constitutional interpretation that I can’t help finding interesting. In fine, she contends that the underlying assumption behind Roe is flawed in the sense that . . .

From the diary of Justice David Souter: . . . sorta scared and sorta tingly at the same time. “What is this I’m feeling?” I asked myself. “She’s nothing like any of the other ladies you’ve ever even thought about,” I kept repeating to myself over and over and over. So I tried to avoid her. I came in the side door and left early (well, not as early as Thomas), and just basically hid away. But she kept finding me. “Oh there you are!” she’d say in her loud scary Texas voice. “What are you doing here in the library! Are you hiding from me? Are you hiding from Harriet, you big beautiful man!” And she’d throw back her head and laugh and laugh and stroke my trembling hand and I kept thinking Harriet Harriet I love you you are the one you are the one I’ve been such a lonely lonely boy . . .

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