EDITOR’S NOTE: This piece appears in the February 27, 2006, issue of National Review.
LARRY KING: Tomorrow! The whole hour with the Van Patten clan! From Hilversum, Holland, hello!”
CALLER: “Hello, Larry. I was wondering to ask your guest why it is just European cartoons he finds offensive? Perhaps there are some American cartoons to be angry about?”
LARRY KING: “What about it? Do you guys object to Beetle Bailey?”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “No, no. Look, Larry, this whole thing has been misinterpreted, and, if I may say, really exacerbated by the media. The cartoon that was published in Denmark was offensive–deeply offensive–to Islam. I mean, depicting our Holy Prophet with a bomb on his head instead of a turban? Come on!”
LARRY KING: “So Peanuts is okay in your book?”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “Of course, Larry. The world of children and Snoopy and the whole thing: We love it.”
LARRY KING:”Dilbert?”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “Workplace Everyman! Who could object to that?”
LARRY KING: “Hagar the Horrible?”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “Wry observations with a historical bent! It’s cute!”
LARRY KING:”Cathy?”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “Well, Cathy is a whore and should be stoned to death.”
LARRY KING: “Excuse me?”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “Her and Mary Worth both. Whores.”
LARRY KING: “Honestly, I don’t see your point about Mary Worth.”
MULLAH RAMZI AL’QUADAR: “Meddling prostitute. Crush her to death under a boulder.”…
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