Politics & Policy

Today’s Nsa Surveillance

EDITOR’S NOTE: This piece appears in the February 13, 2006, issue of National Review.

NSA

SURVEILLANCE

EXTRACT

23:18:33 GMT BEGIN CALL

Unidentified Senior Al-Qaeda Operative: “Hello? Hello? Who is there?”

Unidentified Male Voice: “Hello?”

23:18:36 GMT BEGIN FISA

WARRANT QUERY

USAQO: “Yes, hello. Yes. Listen to me now. Yes, I want to know about how this latest tape is working.”

UMV: “Are you kidding me? How it’s working? It’s going fabulously! Are you seriously asking me this? You took my advice, you went for the truce, and I think the American people . . .”

USAQO: “Yes but I see in the Fox News and the Drudge that . . .”

UMV: “These are not people to listen to. Listen to me. I am your media consultant, okay? This is what I do. This is my whole thing, okay? You pay me a lot . . .”

#AD#USAQO: “A lot of money yes. So I am worry about . . .”

UMV: “Do not worry. I’m telling you. Did you read the clippings I sent? From the Times, from the Post . . . what I’m saying is that your latest audio tape — and I thought you sounded great, by the way — you took control of the debate. And this is what I tell all of my clients. You have to frame the debate. People are now talking about the whole truce thing. Your truce thing. Hey, we’re moving the pieces forward, and that’s a good thing.”

USAQO: “But I hear nothing from the Cheney.”

23:19:04 GMT AWAITING FISA WARRANT AUTHORIZATION

UMV: “Lemme tell you: These guys are running scared. Their whole thing is coming down with the spying and . . .”

USAQO: “And this Jew with the hat?”

UMV: “Abramoff, yes. We could be talking impeachment. Then there’s the Libby thing. And the news from Iraq is . . .”

USAQO: “And Shrum? Is also a Jewish name?”

UMV: “I don’t see why we have to go there.”

USAQO: “This advice you give me. Video. Truce. Then I see on Daily Show they insult me.”

UMV: “I found the Daily Show coverage basically very supportive.”

USAQO: “This is some kind of Jew trickery?”

23:21:55 GMT AWAITING FISA WARRANT

AUTHORIZATION

UMV: “I’m getting a call on my other line. Look, don’t worry so much. It’s a building-block thing. It’s what I tell all my clients.”

USAQO: “But . . .”

UMV: “Gotta go.”

Second Unidentified Male Voice: “Bob? Ted here.”

UMV: “Senator! How are you?”

UMV #2: “Not so good, Bob.”

UMV: “What? Why?”

UMV #2: “I think the Alito thing is blowing back on us. . . .

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