Here are the girls (and, yes, we are allowed to call them girls) who made this year memorable, each in her own special way.
The Marie Antoinette Big Spender Award: Hillary Rodham Clinton
$80,000 for munchies at the Tavern on the Green. Nearly $7,000 for flowers. $30 million to beat nobody. If this is how she runs a campaign, imagine her at the helm of the federal budget.
The “Stand By Your Man” Award: Nancy Pelosi
Speaker Pelosi who put on a brave face when Steny Hoyer beat out John Murtha for Majority Leader. Put on a brave face when her first choice for Intelligence Committee Chairman, Alcee Hastings, went off track and put on a brave face when Sylvestre Reyes, her second choice, flunked his Congressional Quarterly terrorism test. (Yes, Sylvestre, there is a Hezbollah) Okay, so the new Speaker only has one face. Never a frown line, please.
The 2006 Put A Sock In It Award: Rosie O’Donnell
Do we really even have to explain?
The Bimbo Lifetime Achievement Award: Paris Hilton
Her contributions to American culture have made all other dumb blonds look, like, smart. You go, girl.
The “Lady In Red” Fashion Faux Pas of the Year Award: The three anonymous women at the White House Christmas party.
They showed up at a White House Christmas party wearing the same $8,500 dress as Mrs. Bush (and are really, really, really mad at Oscar De La Renta!).
The Angelina Jolie Accessory of the Year Award: Madonna
She, like Bradjolina, added a third-world child to her collection this year causing another international controversy just in time for her world tour. You’d think a crucifixion would have been enough?
The First Annual Macaca Award: The Regulars on The View (including Barbara Walters)
The gave a drunk a soapbox from which denounce the president of the United States and sneer at the White House, which they all found quite amusing. Come on, girls, get a grip.
The 2006 “They Said It Couldn’t Be Done” Award: Judith Regan
The only woman — hey, the only person — to find a story so revolting she managed to creep out Rupert Murdoch.
The Janet Jackson Memorial Peep Show Award: Britney Spears
For the most unforgettable (though we’d really like to) wardrobe malfunction of ’06.
The “Real Women Have Curves” Award: Anna “The Devil Wears Prada” Wintour
For courageously spearheading a move to use only models who, at six-feet tall, are full-bodied and healthy — and will fit, of course, into size 0 jeans.
The Bob Schieffer “Wish You Were Here ” Award: Katie Couric
The “Queen of Cute.” Who woulda thought $15 millions could buy so little? Next year craft segments?
The “I thought you were my girl friend” Award: Oprah
Who, with her magic touch, and help from a near-hysterical national media, transformed Barack into Hillary’s worst nightmare. Run, Barack, run!
– Myrna Blyth is an NRO contributor and co-author, together with Chriss Winston, of How to Raise an American: 1776 Fun and Easy Tools, Tips, and Activities to Help Your Child Love This Country .