To: Clerk of the Senate
From: Mortimer J. Snerd, Office of the Majority Leader
Re: Resolution Condemning Unpatriotic Statements Regarding Our Troops
Please be advised that the following resolution submitted to you last night should not be placed in the Congressional Record. Senator Reid had directed staff to draft a resolution condemning unpatriotic comments made about the troops for senators to mull. Unfortunately, in the rush to prepare a letter to Clear Channel Communications, Inc. regarding the comments made last week by radio commentator Rush Limbaugh concerning phony soldiers, staff mistakenly understood Senator Reid to mean we should prepare a resolution condemning unpatriotic comments about the troops that senators had made.
Accordingly, please disregard the following resolution in its entirety. By the way, today is my last day here at the Senate. If I don’t see you before I leave, it’s been a pleasure working with you.
Condemning Unpatriotic Remarks Made By Senators Concerning Our Troops
WHEREAS on May 5, 2004, Senator Kennedy of Massachusetts accused our troops of torturing prisoners in the same manner as Saddam Hussein, stating “Shamefully, we now learn that Saddam’s torture chambers reopened under new management,” and
WHEREAS on June 14, 2005, Senator Durbin of Illinois compared our troops to Nazis and genocidal maniacs, stating “If I didn’t tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their Gulags, or some mad regime, Pol Pot, or others that had no concern for human beings. Sadly that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in their treatment of their prisoners,” and
WHEREAS on December 4, 2005, Senator Kerry of Massachusetts alleged that our troops were terrorizing Iraqi civilians, stating “There is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night terrorizing kids and children, women…,” and
WHEREAS In October, 2006, Senator Kerry of Massachusetts suggested that our troops were lazy and stupid, stating “You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t you get stuck in Iraq,” and
WHEREAS on August 13, 2007, Senator Obama of Illinois accused our troops of reckless disregard for civilian life, stating “We’ve got to get the job done there and that requires us to have enough troops so that we’re not just air-raiding villages and killing civilians, which is causing enormous problems there,” and
WHEREAS on September 5, 2007, Senator Schumer of New York denigrated our troops as being inept and useless, stating “And let me be clear, the violence in Anbar has gone down despite the surge, not because of the surge. The inability of American soldiers to protect those tribes from Al Qaeda said to those tribes we have to fight Al Qaeda ourselves,” and
WHEREAS on several occasions Senator Reid of Nevada has suggested that our troops are utter failures, stating, notwithstanding extant evidence to the contrary that “The war is lost,”
NOW THEREFORE, be it resolved by the Senate of the United States and its individual members that they
(1) Shall refrain from suggesting, without warrant, that our troops are murderers, liars, torturers, idiots, losers, and traitors
(2) Shall refrain, whenever possible, from making public statements about the troops, their mission or our country that are indistinguishable form statements made by Osama Bin Laden, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or others who have vowed to destroy the United States of America
(3) Shall refrain from introducing legislation that would impede or impair the ability of our troops to defeat our enemies or that exceeds the powers granted to Congress under Article I Section 8 of the Constitution
(4) Shall assist the Department of Veterans Affairs in expediting an investigation into the scores of reported incidents involving “phony soldiers,” including, but not limited to, those cases where individuals have made false claims about their military service in order to obtain benefits to which they are not entitled; as well as cases in which individuals have lied about the nature of their military service for the purpose of portraying our troops in a false and unflattering light, thereby undermining their mission and the public’s support therefor.
(5) Shall conduct business only in a manner calculated to best improve the probabilities of victory so that our troops may return home quickly to the honors they deserve from a nation made secure by their service.
– Jackson Bauer is the nom de cyber of a writer living in northern Virginia.