Well, I had an interesting Labor Day weekend. I expected my article on catcalling, which went live at 5 p.m. the Friday before the holiday weekend, would be read by few people, as Americans rushed to the beach one last time. I was very wrong.
My Twitter inbox is still being flooded with messages from women saying that they share my experiences and agree with my assessment that catcalling is street harassment. In National Review Online’s comments section and in blogs I am charged with overreacting. One NRO commenter summed this up quite nicely:
Two National Review colleagues of mine penned responses to the article in NRO’s The Corner blog. The arguments against my article represent two fatal flaws of the conservative mindset toward this issue.
Nicholas Frankovich writes in his post, “Male brains and female brains are different. I say this not to justify the behavior, but to try to explain it.”
This argument is essentially, “Men can’t help themselves,” and it comes up often under the issue of catcalling, but is at odds with most conservative thinking. Liberals may believe people are incapable of controlling themselves, but it is unbecoming of the Right to use this excuse, even on something as miniscule as catcalling. About a year ago, Kathryn Jean Lopez, another NRO colleague, interviewed Charlotte Hays about her book When Did White Trash Become the New Normal? in which she suggests that by our accepting the antics of the Left, we are allowing American society to become, well . . . trashy.
“Whereas we once had chivalry, at least as an ideal, we now have the Violence Against Women Act, which is based on the supposition that men are brutes,” Hays says. “Instead of decency, we are told to rely on restraining orders that don’t work. The act comes from a mindset that says men can’t be tamed.”
Is this not the same reasoning a girl uses when she rolls her eyes and thinks to herself, “Men are animals,” after a man tells her to “shake it” while she walks down the street? The subtext of that eye roll is, “Men can’t help it,” but they can help it, because they are not animals. And this suggestion that men will continue to harass women on the street because their brains tell them to is, frankly, offensive to men. If men want to change their behavior, they will. But they won’t change it unless it is made clear that their current behavior is unacceptable, which brings me to my other point.
Another National Review–er, Molly Powell, wrote in another Corner post that she shared many of the experiences I outlined in the original article. A derelict man once pleasured himself in front of her on public transportation. “Most women who are young or halfway attractive will at some point experience rude and occasionally frightening behavior from men,” Powell writes. “So what?”
Why do we expect so little from men? With all due respect to my colleague, is it acceptable that so many women have been forced to watch men pleasuring themselves in public? Is it acceptable that many women, and if I may remind you, so many young girls, experience “occasionally frightening behavior from men?” Men are supposed to be our equals, not our bogeymen. Like Charlotte Hays, conservatives are always going on and on about chivalry, chivalry, chivalry. So why do we not expect it in everyday life? Many conservative writers make careers out of complaining about the status quo. Catcalling is part of the status quo, and we should not accept this as our reality.
Many commenters, bloggers, and tweeters have complained that I, and other women, should just shrug off the street harassment and deal with it, but change is a two-way street. In the same way a child who has never been asked to do chores won’t suddenly start taking out the garbage on a whim, men won’t change unless it is expected of them. Many of the commenters and bloggers are right: The law can’t stop street harassment unless the man actually touches the woman, which is why I chose to write the original article. It will change only if there is a general consensus of “no” in society.
I was home in New York over Labor Day Weekend. On Saturday morning, I bought a few bagels from the local bagel store. The owner was behind the counter that day and he was very cheery for someone who had to work on a holiday weekend. After I ordered my bagels and my coffee, he smiled and said, “Anything else, beautiful?” I paid my tab and walked out of the store, walking about halfway down the block before I even realized that he had called me “beautiful.” I wasn’t offended in the least. Why? Because the word “beautiful” wasn’t followed by any hand gestures, raised eyebrows, licking of lips, comments about my backside, or glances at my chest. He tossed a compliment at me and moved along to the next customer. Most importantly, I didn’t feel threatened, and this, ladies of Outnumbered, is a real compliment. This is where the line is drawn. And men know the difference. If a man really and truly just wants to compliment a woman, this is how he does it. Embarrassing a girl as she walks down the street is not.
— Christine Sisto is an editorial associate at National Review Online.