This week, GOP House leadership passed a controversial $1.1 trillion spending bill infamously known as the “cromnibus.” The bill, supported by the Obama administration, is 1,600 pages long. So how big is that really? Like in real life?
This is what a cromnibus looks like printed out:
For reference, it’s just a little taller than a Starbucks Venti.
And this is what it sounds like when you drop it on the floor:
NOTE: Continually doing this will piss off your co-workers.
Now that the bill has passed the House and will odds-on end up on the president’s desk, what other uses could you have for your cromnibus?
Here are some ideas . . .
1. Coaster
2. A space filler between your Hillary autobiographies
3. Doorstop
4. Saving your spot at the bar
5. Reviving the publishing industry
6. A topical centerpiece for polite conversation
7. A passenger so you can ride in the HOV lane
8. Cutting board
9. Weightlifting
10. Kindling
11. The worst Christmas present ever
Merry Cromnibus!
— Benny Johnson is digital director for National Review.