Women make less money than men do because society is sexist — and although the liberals love us and want to help, the conservatives hate us and won’t let them.
This is the whole point behind today, Equal Pay Day, which is an important feminist issue that I learned about on Instagram. We women are making like 77 or 78 percent less money just because we’re women — and conservative men don’t care because all they want us to make are babies.
See, there is one party (the Democrats) that wants women to be paid more and another party (the Republicans) that wants women to be paid less. That’s all the fight is about; there’s nothing more to it.
I mean, I did see this guy on the train next to me reading something about how if you compare men and women who work 40 hours weekly and account for differences in education, occupation, and experience that the wage ratio would actually be closer to 95 percent. But that guy was wearing a suit and was white and was reading MarketWatch — which are all pretty clear indications that he can’t be trusted. In fact, I bet he just made the article up and put it on his screen so girls like me might see it and be tricked into thinking that women aren’t helpless victims who need the government to solve all of their problems. But I’m not stupid. I won’t be fooled!
#related#So — everyone please join me in fighting this injustice. Vote for Hillary, and share all the memes you see that talk about how sexist Rand Paul is. Oh, and make sure to tweet a lot too and maybe take some pics of yourself crying at work and post them on Instagram with the #EqualPayDay hashtag. All of these are the kinds of things that really change the world.
I mean, ugh. Are we really still talking about income inequality? It’s 2015! The solution is so simple: Just pass a law that demands that everyone gets paid the exact right amount that they deserve to get paid, and then everyone will get paid the exact right amount that they deserve to get paid! That’s how laws work! Yes, it’s definitely within the scope and ability of the federal government to know what’s best in every situation at every business in the country, and don’t you dare let some heterosexual white male tell you otherwise — after all, he’s just saying that to try to uphold a system where he has unlimited power to oppress you.
— Katherine Timpf is a reporter for National Review Online.