For those of you impatiently awaiting Fox Business correspondent Charlie Gasparino’s latest bout of vehemently refusing to let women half his age wear his jock strap, some good news. In yesterday’s episode of Cavuto Coast to Coast, Gasparino continued his longstanding accusations that Millennials are “f***ing morons” and “moochers” in a debate against National Review’s own Jillian Melchior, who had written a piece in the New York Post last week on the hypocrisies of the generational war he’s been waging for months now.
But instead of making an actual argument, Grandpa Gasparino decided to remind viewers of some of his favorite things he associates with his generation: Playboy, the psychoactive properties of LSD, and, of course, wearing a jockstrap. (Railing against Pinkberry unfortunately didn’t make the cut this time.)
While Melchior makes some sound, productive points on welfare and how the Boomer generation’s vote ultimately put President Obama in office, some of Gasparino’s greatest plays include:
‐Ad hominem attacks . . . against himself?
“I do some crummy reporting now and then.”
“I take pride in not being a nice guy. I’m a jerk — read my Playboy interview!”
‐Backhanded references to prove that he was cool in high school:
“Listen, what do you guys take? Mollies. We did LSD — we expanded our minds!”
‐And it wouldn’t be a Gasparino segment without a creepy reverse-psychological reminder to a female NR writer that his jock strap is off bounds, no exceptions:
“I come from a generation that used jock straps.”
Along the lines of his tweet Tuesday:
https://twitter.com/CGasparino/status/608335609732714497
On an earlier appearance with Cavuto last month, Gasparino said of NR’s Kat Timpf, “She couldn’t wear my jock strap as a reporter.” This allusion, which Gasparino keeps getting wrong, is to boxer Larry Holmes’s 1985 remark that competitor Rocky Marciano ”couldn’t carry [his] jock strap,” which, as Melchior mentions in the debate, Gasparino doesn’t even attribute to the right boxer. The original quote is also a lot less sexually suggestive than what Gasparino keeps saying, but hey, Charlie, to each his own.
— Shubhankar Chhokra is an intern at National Review.