Culture

Bill De Blasio Makes More Enemies

New York City’s mayor won’t rest until everyone hates him.

A lot of people hate Bill de Blasio — such as people who like horse-drawn carriages, people who like Uber, and people who like soda.

And, unfortunately for him, it seems to be getting worse. Just last week, de Blasio added yet another group to his long list of enemies: The half-naked, body-painted ladies in Times Square and the women who support their right to be half-naked, body-painted ladies.

Yes, that’s right. Much like he did with giant sodas, Bill “Boring Babysitter” de Blasio has decided that these kind of street acts are just not good for people — and that he therefore must crack down on them for the protection and welfare of all.

How noble.

Good intentions or not, however, it turns out that some people just don’t like being told what to do.

In fact, about 100 topless women and a few hundred of their clothed supporters marched the streets of New York on Sunday to show just how much they hate the idea, according to an article in the New York Post.

“If men can show their bodies, women should be allowed to show their bodies as well,” topless protester Priya Singh told the Post.

Times Square is packed because people like to go see the spectacle — topless ladies, Elmos and all.

It’s important to note, however, that this isn’t entirely a feminist issue. After all, de Blasio has made it clear that his problem isn’t just with the topless women — it’s with the pedestrian plazas in Times Square in general. In fact, he’s stated that he actually wants to tear them out completely because the harassment from performers — be they topless or wearing an Elmo suit — for tips makes Times Square a miserable place to be.

I’d definitely say that Times Square is a miserable place to be, but I’d also say that the topless ladies are the least of my concerns — the unattended, screaming children who run into me with their sticky, ice-cream covered bodies and couples who stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture of themselves kissing and post it with the caption “Smooches in the City! XOXO” rank way higher on my list of things that make me want to punch my own face whenever I’m unfortunate enough to be there.

Make no mistake: I hate Times Square. But not everyone feels like I do. The fact that an awful, selfie-taking swarm does descend on it day in and day out is in itself proof that a lot of people do actually like it.

#related#Maybe we do need some kind of enforcement to make sure that the painted topless women and weird dudes in Elmo suits don’t get too, too crazy. But the thing is, the fact that it is kind of crazy out there is why people go to see it in the first place.

Time Square is packed because people like to go see the spectacle — topless ladies, Elmos, and all.

You know — kind of like how stores sell jumbo-sized drinks because there are people who want to drink them. Or how services like Uber are popular because so many people want to use them.

I’m no politician, but it seems to me like cracking down on all the fun things that people like might not be the best way to gain support. But you don’t have to take my word for it — just ask your Uber driver. Or the couple making memories in the horse-drawn carriage. Or your friend who loves drinking soda out of a single giant-sized container. Or a topless feminist. Or a dude in an Elmo costume. Or . . .

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