Politics & Policy

Hillary’s Five Most Cringe-worthy Debate Moments That Made Me Want to Throw Things

Yes, it was hard to pick just five.

Columnists Internet-wide are insisting that Hillary Clinton did a great job in the #DemDebate last night — which makes me wonder if they could have possibly been actually watching it.

Her performance was canned, stiff, and full of cringe-worthy moments. Of those moments, here are the five that most made me want to scream, pull out my hair, and throw my shoes at the TV:

1. Hillary trying to act like she somehow grew up disadvantaged or something.

“I’m the granddaughter of a factory worker.” Um, okay. So what? Sorry, Hillary, but you did not have a rough upbringing. You grew up in the suburbs and your dad was a successful business owner. Those are circumstances that a good percentage of the population would envy, and suggesting that they were difficult makes you look more like someone who’s too out of touch to understand what a real problem is than someone who struggling families can relate to.

2. Hillary saying she was proud to have made an “enemy” of Republicans.

Um, Hillary? You do realize that this “enemy” you’re so pumped about having made is a group you would have to be working with every day if you were president? And that it’s generally accepted that someone’s being your enemy makes him just a teeeensy bit harder to work with? Earlier in the debate, Hillary had repeatedly stressed her commitment to “bringing our country together again.” For her to then turn around and brag about playing a leading role in fomenting the division that she had just been complaining about was actually insane.


3. Referencing her gender 9 million times.

Wait, Hillary? Are you a woman? I forget. After all, you only mentioned it constantly – regardless of whether or not it had anything to do with what you had just been asked.

For example: At one point, Hillary had the opportunity to explain how she’d be a different president than Obama. Now, this is a question that you’d think she’d be ready with a substantive response to — especially considering that she ran against the dude in 2008. But what did she do? Start off by saying that she would be different because she’s a woman.

I mean, really, Hillary? That’s the best you can do? Come on.

One thing is for sure: Hillary has no right to complain about being treated differently in this election because she’s a female candidate. After all, she’s the one pushing that narrative more than anyone else.

4. Responding to a question about her being inconsistent by simply insisting that she is in fact consistent — despite the fact that the question itself was framed with evidence of her inconsistency on marriage, trade, and immigration.

#related#The simple denial of “Well, actually, I have been very consistent” is not an adequate response to a question that included clear evidence that you’re not. Not to mention that the question could have contained even more evidence — such as how she used to push for a tough-on-crime approach but now whines about prison overcrowding, or how she sided with her husband after repeated sexual-assault allegations against him but now preaches that sexual-assault survivors need to be believed.

Still, Hillary “Who, Me?” Clinton just insisted that although she does “absorb new information,” she has “always fought for the same values and principles.” Now, moderator Anderson Cooper pointed out that she had claimed to be the most progressive candidate in July but then called herself a “moderate and center” one last month. Hillary tried to dodge this by simply stating that she had a “range of views” — despite the fact that it’s clearly impossible to be the most radically left person in the race as well someone who’s “kind of moderate and center,” because those are — by definition — mutually exclusive things.

Either Hillary thinks we’re stupid enough to miss all of this, or she’s so stupid she doesn’t know what the word “consistent” means. Either way, it’s not good.

Oh, and by the way: Just when I thought this answer couldn’t possibly make me want to gouge my eyes out any more than it already had, she brought up again that her grandpa was a factory worker. Gahhhh! 

5. Actually trying to say that she would be “tougher” on Wall Street than Bernie Sanders.

Just wondering, Hillary . . . did you come up with this before or after one of your recent paid speeches at Goldman Sachs?

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