Angry? Sinfully So?

Kick the habit.

‘He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.” (1 John 3:14-15) In Overcoming Sinful Anger: How to Master Your Emotions and Bring Peace to Your Life, Fr. T. G. Morrow uses this verse as a great motivator to choose to overcome anger that’s gotten out of control.

“If you’re a Christian, you will work very hard to find a way to cut back on your anger dramatically. For the real Christian, it’s not where we’re from that counts the most, but where we would like to be one day. Explosive anger is not something you want to have with you when you leave this planet. It will profoundly dampen your ability to enter the Kingdom.” Fr. Morrow talks more about Overcoming Sinful Anger here. Doing so could be the gift you give others this Christmas. – KJL

Kathryn Jean Lopez: “Explosive anger is not something you want to have with you when you leave this planet.” What’s your first word to someone who feels a little anger bubbling when they hear that?

Fr. T. G. Morrow: This is true of any sin, including sinful anger. It is important to clean up all our sins before we go for judgment.

Lopez: You write that “we are not stuck with our bad habits. We can overcome them.” But sinful anger is surely more serious than hitting snooze in the morning?

Fr. Morrow: Indeed it is. So it may take more time and effort to overcome sinful anger, but people have done it.

Lopez: You note that “perhaps most angry outbursts are not mortal sins because sufficient reflection is absent. But choosing not to strive ardently to overcome hateful outbursts is usually done with full knowledge and deliberate consent of the will and so could well be a mortal sin.” When should alarm bells ring to designate “sinful” anger?

Fr. Morrow: When the anger is malicious and accompanied by a desire to take vengeance, and when it is a frequent occurrence.

Lopez: “When we feel angry, we have a choice to act either rationally or irrationally. Only one of these qualifies as Christian.” One might argue that these are not rational times.

Fr. Morrow: Emotion can diminish rationality, but it does not destroy it. As one works at past angry outbursts, one can prepare to be more rational for the next one.

Lopez: I am angry about ISIS. What will this book help me do about this?

Fr. Morrow: I too am angry about ISIS. However we can overcome the world, as we see in 1 John 5:5. It’s not that the bad things of this world don’t make us feel angry, but that as we keep our eyes on Christ, and know that he is still in charge and will certainly win, the bad things of this world can no longer get to us and ruin our peace.

Lopez: If a Christian votes in anger, does he have a matter for confession?

Fr. Morrow: I hope not. We hope he votes out of righteous anger.

Lopez: “If we spent time each day thanking God, we would hardly be able to get angry at him.” Even when illness and death strike? There are a lot of people out there not feeling God’s love. What do you say to them?

Fr. Morrow: We can’t wait until we feel it. Knowing it (from Scripture, and the saints) should form us. If we are thanking God constantly for all the good things in our lives, we won’t feel aggrieved if he allows us to lose something that was a gift in the first place, something we could hardly have deserved. This is how we get beyond the “entitlement” attitude that is so prevalent in our country today.

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Lopez: Why does unforgiveness demonstrate “a complete disconnect with the Christian religion”?

Fr. Morrow: It’s a disconnect because the Our Father makes it clear that if we want to be forgiven by God, we must forgive others. If we are not forgiven by God, we are in deep, deep trouble. The Our Father is fundamental Christianity.

Lopez: Is there really such a thing as “perpetual anger”?

Fr. Morrow: Amazingly, yes. I have a friend whose spouse is just about daily pointing out bad things he has done in the past. It is like her drug of choice, complaining to him.

Lopez: Some people don’t deserve forgiveness. What about justice?

Fr. Morrow: Everyone deserves justice. And God is the guarantor of that, good or bad.

Lopez: Why are power and control, a refusal to take responsibility, and habit the biggest reasons for anger? What about legitimate hurt and injustice and victimization?

Fr. Morrow: Those things (power, control, refusal to take responsibility) are behind sinful anger. Hurt, receiving injustice, or victimization are legitimate reasons for FEELING angry, but not for malice or vengeance. They are reasons for a virtuous person to express dissatisfaction without failing to live up to their dignity as Christians.

Lopez: How can overcoming sinful anger save a marriage?

Fr. Morrow: Anger has poisoned so many marriages. I was speaking to a marriage counselor recently, and we agreed that if married persons could eliminate sinful anger, the divorce rate would be 10 percent, not 50 percent.

Lopez: What’s your most important word to parents who have an angry child?

Fr. Morrow: Motivate them to control it by offering big rewards or reasonable punishments. That is the way the world will treat them. 

Lopez: Do we live in a culture that particularly tempts and maybe even encourages anger?

Fr. Morrow: Insofar as we live in a culture of little patience, and little humility, yes. Those flaws encourage anger.

Lopez: How is “Mary, Queen of Peace,” and why do you dedicate the book to her?

Fr. Morrow: Mary is especially Queen of Peace at Fatima. She urged people to pray five mysteries every day for world peace. Our Lady of Fatima inspired me to pray the rosary daily from the age of 14. I am convinced that she brought me to the priesthood. It is good to dance with the one who brought you.

Lopez: Who needs this book most?

Fr. Morrow: It seems a lot of people need it. I have it sitting in my office, and when people come in and they see the book, they say, “I need this book!” Those who need it most are those who think it is okay to get sinfully angry two to three times a week. They need to learn that this is not okay.