Trump Robot Delivers Heartwarming SOTU Address

President Trump delivers the State of the Union address at the Capitol in Washington, D.C. on February 5, 2019. (Doug Mills/Reuters)
The Trump the Left loves to hate was AWOL.

Where was President Donald Trump during Tuesday’s State of the Union address? The racist, sexist, immigrant-hating, cruel, anti-Semitic, divisive monster who is denounced continuously by his Democrat/media/Left critics was AWOL. My theory? He was sequestered in an undisclosed location and replaced with an advanced animatronic device. Unlike the Trump whose dark portrait the Left paints daily, this amazingly lifelike invention offered stirring words that should soothe blacks, women, immigrants, the infirm, Jews, and millions of Americans who desire national unity.

• Every day, Trump’s detractors call him a racist. “We have a president who is racist,” Senator Sherrod Brown (D., Ohio) insisted Sunday on NBC News. But the Trump-like apparatus spoke touchingly about granting clemency to Alice Johnson, a black woman who had been imprisoned for nearly 22 years for a nonviolent, first-time drug conviction. Johnson wiped tears from her eyes as she sat with the first family in the House gallery. He also movingly introduced a black man named Matthew Charles, the first inmate released after President Trump signed the FIRST STEP Act, a criminal-justice-reform bill that, the Trump contraption explained, “reformed sentencing laws that have wrongly and disproportionately harmed the African-American community.” He added: “Matthew, on behalf of all Americans: Welcome home.”

• Trump also is a sexist, at least. Senator Bernie Sanders (Socialist, Vt.) last October called him “the most racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted president in history.”

Hmmmm . . .

“All Americans can be proud that we have more women in the work force than ever before,” the well-oiled Trump machine said. “As part of our commitment to improving opportunity for women everywhere, this Thursday we are launching the first ever government-wide initiative focused on economic empowerment for women in developing countries.”

• Trump hates immigrants. As Representative Barbara Lee said Tuesday via Twitter: “The president is once again using a national stage to push a divisive, xenophobic, anti-immigrant agenda.”

But Trump 2.0 saw things quite differently.

“Legal immigrants enrich our nation and strengthen our society in countless ways,” he said. “I want people to come into our country in the largest numbers ever, but they have to come in legally.”

• “The president’s consistent demonstration of cruelty” annoyed The Atlantic’s Adam Serwer. “Trump galvanizes his base with invectives that target those who are suffering.”

And yet the Trump stunt double introduced a guest in the gallery named Grace Eline. Though just age ten, she raised $40,000 to fight cancer while battling it in her own brain. “Grace,” he said, “you are an inspiration to us all.” He added: “Many childhood cancers have not seen new therapies in decades. My budget will ask the Congress for $500 million over the next ten years to fund this critical life-saving research.”

Also in the pipeline: “My budget will ask Democrats and Republicans to make the needed commitment to eliminate the HIV epidemic in the United States within ten years. Together, we will defeat AIDS in America.”

• Trump is an anti-Semite, his foes relentlessly claim. “Trump’s Ideology Is Anti-Semitism Without Jews,” New York magazine argued elliptically last fall.

After reminding his audience that the U.S. embassy in Israel now is in Jerusalem, the Trump automaton said, “We must never ignore the vile poison of anti-Semitism, or those who spread its venomous creed. With one voice, we must confront this hatred anywhere and everywhere it occurs.”

The Trump doppelgänger then spent several minutes applauding his guests, Judah Samet, a survivor of the deadly shooting attack on Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life Synagogue; Joshua Kaufman, a Dachau survivor; and Herman Zeitchik, a World War II veteran who liberated that Nazi concentration camp.

A headline in an online Jewish website called The Algemeiner praised “The Special Jewish Moments in Trump’s SOTU Speech.”

• Trump is divisive, the Left insists. According to Foreign Policy magazine, “Trump’s Divisive Speech Puts the First Amendment at Risk.”

Not so, the Trump android.

“As we have seen, when we are united, we can make astonishing strides for our country,” he said. “We must reject the politics of revenge, resistance, and retribution — and embrace the boundless potential of cooperation, compromise, and the common good,” he urged. “Together, we can break decades of political stalemate. We can bridge old divisions, heal old wounds, build new coalitions, forge new solutions, and unlock the extraordinary promise of America’s future.”

The Trump robot Tuesday night appeared warm, genuine, and sincerely interested in inspiring Democrats and Republicans to pursue American greatness. If this talking mannequin sticks around, let’s hope he succeeds.

Meanwhile, the Secret Service should launch an immediate search for the Donald Trump who gets socked around the clock in Democrat speeches and network newscasts. That Trump must be in a basement somewhere, banging on the door and begging to be freed.

Michael Malarkey provided research for this piece.

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Deroy Murdock is a Manhattan-based Fox News contributor, a contributor to National Review Online, and a senior fellow with the London Center for Policy Research.


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