Culture

NYC Commissioner Wants to Remove Statues of Men. It’s about Time. 

A statue of Alexander Hamilton stands in New York’s Central Park (Mike Segar/Reuters)
The existence of statues depicting men in Central Park is the biggest problem that I face as a woman living in New York City.

A  member of the Public Design Commission in New York City has called for removal of all of the statues of men that are currently in Central Park — and honestly, it’s about time.

During a hearing at City Hall on Monday, Hank Willis Thomas, a painter, stated:

“There are what, five or six [male] statues that I think could easily be replaced by individual statues of each of these women.”

Thomas could not be more right. Even if it cannot be done “easily,” as he suggests, the NYC government should make it a top priority to do so. The presence of these statues has been devastating New York women like me for far too long, and the city should spare no time, expense, or resource in assuring that they are disposed of immediately.

Of course, not everyone seems to understand the gravity of this situation like Thomas does. That would be too good to be true. While I am, of course, thankful to have a True Ally like Thomas as a city official — someone who clearly has his finger on the pulse of the issues that truly matter to us women — there are some sexist pigs out there who just don’t get it.

I’m looking at you, Mayor Bill de Blasio!

Yep. Believe it or not, a representative for that misogynistic Neanderthal actually dared to tell the New York Post that although he would support adding new statues, he isn’t as jazzed about the idea of removing all of the old ones.

In other words: De Blasio is a man, he has no idea what we go through, and he should stop making such ignorant statements that only make things worse for us women. I mean, seriously, Bill? You have no idea what it is like to have to walk through Central Park and see statues of people that are of a gender different from your own. It’s disgusting, demoralizing, and traumatic. Newsflash, buddy: Inanimate or not, these statues are still oppressing women every single day! In fact, they affect me even when I’m not in the park. I can’t even tell you how many nights I’ve lain awake in horror, completely unable to sleep just knowing that they’re there.

The truth is, the existence of statues that are of men in Central Park is the biggest problem that I face as a woman living in New York City. You might think that it would be the abusively astronomical taxes, or the cost of living that’s so high you need to make at least six figures to be able to afford a studio apartment that’s not infested with rats. You might think that it would be that the whole city smells like a cocktail of piss, feces, vomit, garbage, and despair, or that it’s so filthy that I had to dodge the largest pile of human s*** that I have ever seen in my life the last time I took the subway at Bryant Park. You might think it’s the oppressive regulations that stifle my freedom and individual choice.

You might think that, Bill — but you’d be wrong. No, nothing compares to the absolute anguish I face as a woman because there are statues of men in a park. I know that this may not be popular with all the mouth-breathing, ball-scratching men that have all the power in this city (and, like, everywhere), but you need to pull out all the stops to take care of this, like, yesterday. I am begging you to do whatever it takes to solve this. (Maybe raise taxes on the rich? Reallocate funds to something less important, like child hunger? I mean, you know some children are male, right, it’s not like they need food when they have the patriarchy to feed them every f***ing day!)

Again, I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I could not be more glad to see that this is finally being discussed, and that both time and resources are being spent on this in the city where I pay taxes on my hard-earned income. I just hope the city realizes that this is no small thing and drops everything else to ensure that this is solved now.

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