Ducktales Reboot Shows Disney Is Working Hard to Ruin Your Childhood

Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck pose for photographers after their arrival at the airport in Mumbai, India, in 2006. (Punit Paranjpe/Reuters)
Ducktales producer makes serious accusations against Donald Duck for his penchant for female ducks like Daisy.

NRPLUS MEMBER ARTICLE I ’ve always liked Donald Duck. He’s lazy, cantankerous, and easily amused. As does the rest of the old Disney family, he represents innocence, fun, and kindness. But Donald, that charming children’s character, has been kidnapped by a company following a rigorous ideological program of liberal indoctrination, whose latest conquest has been to introduce in the new episodes of DuckTales two gay ducks who have adopted a little duck, whose sexual habits have not been revealed thus far. After watching the very strange scene in which they are introduced, I’m not sure if it’s DuckTales or The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. If Uncle Scrooge were to enjoy the same freedom as in Disney’s early comic books, he’d beat the crap out of his current producers and demand the return of Mr. Walt Disney. Even frozen like a popsicle, Walt Disney would be more respectful of his characters’ legacy.

DuckTales was one of my favourite childhood series. Fun, adventure, innocence, and my favorite characters. The closest it got to showing any kind of ideology was when Scrooge McDuck would clip his nephews around the ears for being lazy. That’s what made it a children’s series. But liberal lobbies can’t stand enjoyment. They can’t stand innocence. They can’t stand childhood. They can’t stand just having fun. They need to turn everything into a god-awful drag. They need to make everything serious and adult. They need everything to be as ideologically dense as Joe Biden’s brain. Everything has to be repetitive, artificial, and extravagant, like a Greta Thunberg speech. That’s why they include gay parents with their corresponding T-shirts advertising their orientation, and that’s why they make all the old characters in the series applaud this revelation, which only seems all the more ridiculous if what they want is to normalize the sexual preferences of modern ducks.

But there’s nothing idle about this portrayal. That’s not my opinion: It’s what Frank Angones, one of the people responsible for the series, says. In a dense article, with prose about as nimble a turtle wading in a pot of glue, Angones apologizes for the existence of a multitude of “heteronormative romances” — whatever that means — in the DuckTales story, and blames Scrooge, Donald, and Fenton for liking the gal ducks and not the guy ducks. This co-executive producer says, with certain contempt for his product’s own history, that “legacy characters” with values from Disney’s past have for some time weighed down the series’ sexual inclination. It seems he wants more representation for drakes attracted to drakes and hens to hens, albeit running the risk of upsetting environmentalist movements, since this could lead to anatidae becoming endangered species. In any case, I would love to see Donald’s face when Angones accuses him of being a retrograde and fascist for wanting to be with Daisy. Fortunately for him, he’s absolutely incomprehensible when he speaks, so it’s difficult to accuse him of being a homophobe. He’s a lucky ducky.

The success of the Disney universe has never been a consequence of its characters’ progressiveness but of universal childlike personalities and values. At a glance, I think it’s safe to say that Scrooge McDuck didn’t vote for Obama. Nor can I imagine Grandma Duck smoking marijuana back in May ‘68. And Minnie would be quite surprised herself to be speaking out at a pro-abortion-rights rally for mice.

Even in their most recent productions, where Disney has tried to force feminism on our children, they mostly leave the littluns indifferent and confused. Perhaps that’s why liberals can’t stand children, because, with their spontaneity and common sense, they brush aside any suffocating propaganda with distrust. That’s why they try to treat children as adults. And that’s why it doesn’t work. A liberal is a guy who lends his iPhone to a baby and is shocked to see that the little angel, instead of taking advantage of the infinite gaming possibilities, prefers to suck it, hit it, and throw it into the middle of the road, deftly synchronizing it with a passing truck. On top of that, the little bugger won’t stop laughing and clapping.

The Disney universe was created for all children. Walt Disney would disavow the current ideological drift of his own corporation. He was firmly committed to the core values of Western civilization and its Christian inspiration. His writings on the power and faith in prayer to God are a good example. But he had such an exaggerated concept of respect for the beliefs of others that he even eliminated the scenes of churches or priests from many of his comic books because he did not want to hurt the feelings of children with other beliefs. His characters are good and innocent, not because they are old, but because they are for children. Walt Disney never wanted to get his hands on our children’s brains. Thank God. It would have been devastating to sit in front of the TV and hear Donald’s nephews — they’re mushy enough as they are — explain how capitalism is to blame for global warming.

In the same way, forcing the question of sexual preference into a show like DuckTales is as natural and consistent as presenting Donald as a sadomasochist, turning Goofy into a Castro intelligence agent, or having Uncle Scrooge donate all his wealth to a climate-change NGO. But the new Disney owners are capable of anything, including turning the traditional Disney princesses into the new feminist activist heroines of the bachelorette lifestyle, or labeling throwing an acorn from Chip to Dale or from Dale to Chip macho aggression (although I’ll be damned if I can tell you which of the two chipmunks represents the heteropatriarchal oppressor in the world of hollow tree trunks).

As I sit down in front of the TV to watch DuckTales, it seems that it’s Angones who’s the cartoon character, not Donald Duck. If you can, get your hands on the old episodes, because this is just the beginning. The person in charge of the series says that the secondary plot of little Violet’s gay parents is insignificant, and that what he is really planning is to introduce “LGBTQ narratives” among the main characters during future productions. Angones’ goal is, in short, to retire the stale, old-fashioned, and shameful characters created by Disney a century ago, when its aim was still to amuse children, and to replace them with his own wonderful, modern occurrences. However, perhaps someone should remind him that, if he hadn’t inherited characters such as Scrooge McDuck, Donald, and Fenton, he would be selling his gay duck cartoons at some convention for retired orphans of the Democratic Party, alongside the little flags, hats, snacks, and cotton candy. A little more respect for Donald Duck, please.

Editor’s note: This article has been updated since publication. 

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