NRPLUS MEMBER ARTICLE U sually, the events that trigger arguments between friends, lovers, and even nations aren’t all that significant in and of themselves. They matter only because they represent or symbolize some larger and more serious issue. Who among us hasn’t, at one point or another, made some small, stupid, and innocuous mistake that has been taken by a loved one as evidence of a deeper character flaw? The argument that begins with a husband forgetting his anniversary isn’t actually about the day itself. It’s about the state of the marriage and about his spousal neglect.