Impromptus

Cheater! Cheater! &c.

A baseball prior to a game at Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, Mo., March 30, 2023 (Jay Biggerstaff / USA TODAY Sports)
On baseball, cannabis, immigration, Elon Musk, Johnny Carson, Dean Koontz, Connie Chung, Don January, and more

‘There’s no crying in baseball!” goes a famous movie line. But, Lordy, is there cheating. And I believe things are getting worse. Yes, I know about the Black Sox (1919). But we had the Houston Astros a few years ago. And did you see this? “College baseball coach resigns after illegal communication devices found in players’ helmets, per report.” (Article here.) Ladies and gentlemen, that was at the community-college level. Come on!

I think back to Walter Johnson, the Big Train. He was renowned for his honesty and sportsmanship, as well as his brilliance as a pitcher. Once, it was getting dark out. Johnson threw a pitch. The umpire said, “Walter, I didn’t really see that one.” Johnson replied, “Ump, I think it was a little outside.”

God, I love that man. (By the way, Walter Johnson was a customer of my great-grandfather, who owned a men’s shop in D.C.)

• A different story, a different headline: “Parents are not ready for the new reality of teen cannabis use.” (Article here.) Boy, do I believe that. A subheading reads, “Today’s teenagers are exposed to more potent forms of cannabis than their parents were exposed to.” True, true. It smells entirely different, I can tell you. (“Skunk weed” is well named.)

I imagine some people supported drug legalization as an experiment. “How much worse could things be?” If they perceive that the experiment has failed — I wonder whether they will support re-illegalization. Once something is legalized, it’s pretty hard to go the other way, I think.

• About immigration: There is a debate to be had, about what U.S. policy should be — how much immigration to have; the types of immigration that are optimal. But the chaos and illegality at the border have to be reckoned with — first. We have a crisis on our hands. This is an emergency. It has to be dealt with, before a sound immigration policy can be arrived at.

Or so I think.

You remember what Sonny Bono said, when he was first running for office. Someone asked, “Hey, Sonny, what’s your position on illegal immigration?” And he answered, “Well, it’s illegal, isn’t it?”

I love that innocence — an innocence that is laced with wisdom, if you will.

• Jonathan Schanzer, of the Foundation for Defense of Democracies, noted rocket fire out of Gaza. “The ceasefire is holding,” he said, “except for the ‘cease’ part.” I was reminded of the late Bernard Lewis, the dean of Middle East historians. Toward the end of his life — he lived to 101 — some ceasefire was announced, or proposed. Lewis quipped, “We cease, they fire.”

• You may have seen this story: “Twitter says it will restrict access to some tweets before Turkey’s election.” (Article here.) Twitter’s owner, Elon Musk, has said several things in his defense, including this:

About Musk’s statement — extraordinary — there are many things to say. Maybe I will confine myself to one.

Apparently, Musk was not content to be a top businessman — making cars of the future, sending rockets up into space. He had to do politics. Like Henry Ford (whose politics were worse). What a pity.

One night, I made a criticism of H. Ross Perot. I prefaced it with, “Now, far be it from me to question the intelligence of a man who has made $3 billion, but . . .” Bill Buckley admonished me, saying, “There is zero relation between business success and political judgment.”

Truth is, WFB had had long experience with tycoons, interested in politics (sometimes too interested).

• Steve Hayes noted an article: “They Helped Trump Plan a Coup. He Wants Them Back for a Second Term.” The figures in question are Michael Flynn and Jeffrey Clark. Said Hayes, “In a normal moment, this alone would be disqualifying.”

You could have said that almost any day since the summer of 2015. And if abnormality stretches on — it becomes normality, doesn’t it? Sort of?

• When you have ten minutes, you may want to watch the clip that Mr. Warburton has circulated:

For the past several years, I have thought of something: I’m inclined to call Fred Astaire the greatest performer in the history of show business. And I’m inclined to rank Johnny Carson No. 2. Johnny is taken for granted, I think. He performed at a very high level night after night for decades. People got used to it — like the lovely weather in Southern California, let’s say.

I have been on a Carson kick for some time. Unbelievably gifted and broad man. A genius performer and TV host.

• Fairly often, I recommend articles, and I feel slightly guilty when I do: We have only so much time to read. And there is no end of things to read. But let me recommend a couple of articles . . .

Here is an interview and profile of Dean Koontz by Karen Heller of the Washington Post. This is very unusual. He is a highly unusual fellow, Koontz. The subheading of the article reads, “He’s sold more than 500 million books, writes two novels every year, lives like a prince and keeps his manuscripts in the fridge in case of fire”

Let me just wrap my head around something: 500 million books.

I read something that reminded me of Mark Helprin. Koontz told his interviewer that, when he’s really goin’ on a book, “momentum carries me like a leaf on a flood.” Helprin once told me that he feels “pulled along by a freight train.”

It would be so nice to feel that way, I would think . . .

Another article: “Generation Connie,” by Connie Wang. This is in the New York Times. Many, many Asian-American women have been named after Connie Chung, the newscaster. (What a beauty, by the way.) Great story. I had no idea. (Neither had the author, until recently.)

Maybe one more article? From the Associated Press, and David Sharp, in particular: “Real-life ‘The Queen’s Gambit’: Custodian leads school chess teams in Maine” (here). Neat.

• Don January, the golf champion, has died. He was 93. For his obit in the New York Times, go here. I have maybe two things to say. First of all, I always thought the name “Don January” was — offbeat and enjoyable. I liked saying “Don January.” A man named “January”!

The other thing: I once knew a young man — the son of another golf champion — who talked with Don January. January was known as a cool, calm, and collected golfer. He had a slow, smooth swing. He carried himself deliberately on the golf course.

January told my acquaintance that he learned these things. They were not natural to him. In his youth, he had been a hothead, a club-thrower. Don January? Hard to believe. January said that he willed himself to be the kind of golfer he became.

He said something fascinating about operating slowly on the golf course — with deliberateness and composure. Not rushing. It started well before he got to the golf course. You brush your teeth slowly. You put the key into the car ignition slowly. You build it into your whole being.

I’ve never applied this (sorry to say). But I’ve never forgotten it.

• Hodding Carter III has died, at 88. His father was a well-known newspaper publisher in Mississippi — a man who advocated civil rights for all. There were many threats on Carter Jr.’s life. He sometimes waited on his porch at night, shotgun in hand.

This is recounted in Robert D. McFadden’s obit of Carter III in the New York Times. The obit also quotes an interview that Carter III gave to People magazine in 1981. Discussing his father, he said,

He had a great reputation for courage, which he deserved. And yet I never knew a time when he wasn’t afraid of the consequences of what he was writing and doing. I learned from my father what courage was really about — it was being afraid, but doing what you had to do.

My own father had a favorite story. A building is on fire. People are gathered on the roof, and they are going down a ladder, one by one. A fireman below is supervising the process. Suddenly, the line stops. No one is going down the ladder. The fireman yells up, “Hey, what’s going on up there?” A woman says, “I’m scared.” The fireman says, “Fine — go down scared.”

Good to see you today, my friends, and I hope you have a good week. (No fires.)

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