Impromptus

A lesson from Augusta, &c.

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Scottie Scheffler putts on the 12th hole during the third round of the Masters tournament at Augusta National Golf Club in Augusta, Ga., April 13, 2024. (Mike Segar / Reuters)
On tradition and change; a remarkable college president; the wisdom of Phil Gramm; a righteous, heroic nun; and more

Reading about Augusta National, I thought of Lampedusa. Bear with me a moment, please. Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa wrote his now-classic novel, The Leopard, in the mid 1950s. There is a famous line, or a famous thought, in it: “If we want everything to stay the same, everything needs to change.” In a piece a couple of years ago, I wrote,

What does that mean? It is subject to interpretation. What I get from it is, “The old guard has to accept some liberal reforms, so as not to be smashed by revolutionaries, as in Robespierre’s France.”

A headline from the Masters tournament last week read, “Vijay Singh wants to touch up the Mona Lisa, and Augusta National isn’t having it.” At issue is Hole No. 12, “the most iconic par-3 in the world.”

That’s what Fred Ridley said, as quoted in the article. Ridley is the chairman of the golf club. The word “iconic” is overused, isn’t it? Besides which, No. 7 at Pebble Beach may be the most iconic. At any rate: No. 12 is a little masterpiece within a masterpiece (designed by Alister MacKenzie in 1933).

“They should lengthen it by at least ten yards.” That’s what Vijay Singh said. He is a “master,” the winner of the tournament in 2000. “I think it should go to at least 170,” he said.

Let me now quote further from the article:

Singh’s suggestion is born from competition, not aesthetics. Sitting at just 155 yards, the 12th is the only hole at Augusta that hasn’t been lengthened since 1935.

Singh believes the modern golfer and his modern clubs have made that distance obsolete, turning what was once a tricky hole into an easy, and non-interesting, one.

Well,

Singh’s comments went over like a patron talking on a cellphone here, not merely wrong, but an affront to what makes the Masters the Masters.

Change hole 12?


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“That’s almost like asking, ‘Can we touch up the Mona Lisa a little bit?’” Ridley said.

You know? I’m not sure. As I see it, Singh wants to preserve, or restore, the nature of No. 12. He thinks the hole has been distorted. He is not trying to paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa. Current equipment is the mustache, you see? Technological progress is the mustache. What Singh wants to do, you could argue, is wipe the mustache off.

I don’t have a dog in this fight. (Augusta National has not asked me to become a member yet.) (I wait by the phone.) But it is so interesting, the concept highlighted in The Leopard: having to change, in order to conserve.

• Bill Buckley said that, when he started his TV program, Firing Line, in 1966, men were reluctant to have makeup put on. They thought it was girly. They thought it was weird. They thought it would alter their looks. Bill would coax them, and reassure them, by saying, “When you wear makeup, you look more like yourself on television. When you don’t, you look less like yourself.”

• On the Wednesday of Masters Week, there is a friendly par-3 tournament, there at Augusta. Watch Viktor Hovland, the Norwegian star, make a hole-in-one. And see a former secretary of state — wearing her green jacket, as a member — congratulate him.

• On Tuesday night is the Champions Dinner. Masters winners gather for a meal, along with the club chairman (who comes at the invitation of the winners). The incumbent champion, so to speak — the previous year’s winner — selects the menu (although I understand that the diners can choose from the “regular menu” as well). This year, the incumbent, and selector, was Jon Rahm, from Spain. His menu was Spanish-accented. In 2022, the selector was Hideki Matsuyama — whose menu was Japanese.

A friend was asking me, “If you won, what would your menu be?” Well, when I think of Georgia, I think of fried chicken, greens, and peach cobbler. Oh, and biscuits — plenty of biscuits. I can’t imagine what would be better.

• Have you made the acquaintance of Gabrielle Starr? I suggest you do. She is the president of Pomona College, in California. A crowd of students rushed into an administrative building, to “occupy” it. The president’s office is in that building. Starr said to the would-be occupiers, “If you do not leave within the next ten minutes, every student in this building is immediately suspended from this institution — if you are from Pomona. If you are from elsewhere, you immediately will be banned from this campus. Is that clear? Ten minutes.” And she followed through.

How you like them apples? (To watch this, go here.)

• Something I have heard from historians and foreign-policy analysts I respect: From the Khomeinist revolution in 1979, much bad flowed. From its downfall, much good is likely to flow. I have held to this view for many years.

These killers have been in power for 45 years. I quote a column by Bret Stephens, published on Sunday:

The key decisions of the past half-century that have driven the Middle East to the place it is in today have a common origin: Iran’s Islamic Revolution of 1979, which brought to power a theocratic despotism intent on sowing fanaticism, brutalizing its own people, destroying Israel and causing misery across the region for the sake of its ideological aims.

• Iran, Russia, China, North Korea, Venezuela, Cuba, Hamas — I could go on. My point is: They are all aligned. The nastiest, most murderous people on earth are aligned. Democratic nations, too, should align. The Free World ought to stand on its feet. A great deal depends on it.

• This, I thought, was really grotesque: At a rally in Pennsylvania, fans behind Donald Trump started to chant, “Genocide Joe! Genocide Joe!” And Trump, the former president, and possible future president, said, “They’re not wrong. They’re not wrong. They’re not wrong.”

Look: Genocide is a serious matter – about the most serious there is. To accuse the president of the United States . . . well, I thought of the campus leftists of my youth. They chanted, “Reagan, Bush, you can’t hide. We charge you with gen-o-cide.”

By the way, would Trump and his people ever make this charge against Putin?

• I realize there is a certain mercenariness to lawyering. But there is something sinister about Mr. Dershowitz — the mindset he displays — in my opinion.

• Phil Gramm, before he entered politics, was a professor of economics. (He became a U.S. senator.) For many years, he was my favorite politician, or one of them. I love something he said to the House Ways and Means Committee last week. The subject was competition with China — how to be competitive with China:

“Well, first of all, don’t imitate China. Don’t implement industrial policy here where you assume government knows more about investment than people who are investing their own money. I have been stunned at the bipartisan support for trying to compete with China by doing what China does.”

My man.

• I had not known of Renato Moicano, a mixed martial artist from Brazil. I do now. Wowser. I mean — geezum. (I apologize in advance for the obscenities.)

• The best college basketball team in the country (men’s) is the University of Connecticut’s. One of the best women’s teams is found at the same university. Is it safe to say that lil’ Storrs is the college basketball capital of America?

• I found the headline here awkwardly worded: “Tennessee lawmakers send bill to ban first-cousin marriages to governor.”

• Robert MacNeil, the television newsman and anchorman, has died at 93. For his obit in the New York Times, go here. I gravitated to him. He was serious, professional. He had “gravitas.” Also, he had a great love of the English language. He hosted a series called “The Story of English.” He was a voice, and a face, of my youth, or coming of age.

I suppose I am being nostalgic . . .

• “Nijole Sadunaite, Lithuanian Nun Who Opposed Soviet Rule, Dies at 85.” (To read this obit, go here.) “A dissident who promoted democracy and religious freedom, she was arrested by the K.G.B. After independence from Moscow, she was honored by Lithuania’s Parliament.” What a woman, what a woman.

• There are things in life that grow old, I suppose. But spring? Its arrival? I can’t imagine it ever would.

Nice to talk to you, my friends. See you soon.

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