What Fathers Could Learn from Papa Bear

T he nurturing power of presence can conquer the imperfections of man in the raising of a child. There is no better example of this phenomenon than the presence of a father — even if he is flawed — in the home. Countless studies have confirmed the resilient truth that fathers in the household shape the social and emotional behavior of children in profound ways. Yet their pulse continues to fade. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, around one in five children lives without a father in the home. Pop culture has abetted this disheartening pattern, consistently depicting fathers as incompetent birdbrains irrelevant to or incapable of cultivating the well-being of their children.

Thirty-six years ago, the estimable Charles Krauthammer failed to recognize this truth in his presentation of Papa Bear in a 1989 Washington Post hit piece against the Bear family, the protagonists of Stan, Jan, and Mike Berenstain’s popular children’s book series that has sold over 350 million copies. He accused Papa of being a “wimp,” painting him as an irresponsible nincompoop who misbehaved in a slovenly manner. Krauthammer’s portrayal has stained the grizzly’s legacy to this day.

This Father’s Day is as good a time as any to reevaluate Krauthammer’s harsh assessment, especially in light of the depressing trends about the sharp decline of fatherhood. As a father who has read a deluge of Berenstain Bears stories to his two young girls similarly charmed by the woolly-haired Bear family, I believe Krauthammer’s interpretation of Papa Bear was profoundly misguided. Papa may occasionally be a fumbling and bumbling incompetent who needs a good kick in the pants from Mama Bear every now and then, but he also exemplifies some of the noblest virtues of fatherhood: presence, industry, and fidelity. Fathers today could learn from his example.

Papa Bear is a steady physical and emotional presence in Brother Bear’s and Sister Bear’s lives: cutting down wood with them, celebrating their birthdays, assisting them with their schoolwork, helping them navigate their difficult social relationships with friends and peers, and teaching them the importance of charity, faith, and humility. In The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Birthday, for example, Papa plans an elaborate birthday party for Sister. The level of excitement overwhelms her, leading her to break down in tears. Mama had initially suspected that Papa’s plans were too ambitious, but Papa, at the end of the story, concedes this fact himself. He encourages Sister, sitting on his lap, “to learn, to have fun, to grow in every way.” Papa has his excesses, but they are well-intentioned, and he often recognizes them at the conclusion of the story. In this instance, he was actively involved in planning a significant event in his daughter’s life, imparted to her timeless lessons, and acknowledged his own limitations.

Even the example Krauthammer gave in his column, of Papa Bear’s seemingly incorrigible nature, displays the value of his presence. In The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners, Papa, accustomed to his hidebound ways, initially resists the family’s new code of manners. Yet this fleeting act of defiance shows, at the very least, that he was physically in the house to accept or reject the new code (not an insignificant bar in light of the grim statistics above). Not only that, but Papa does come to embrace this code, which Krauthammer understates. By defusing a potentially volatile situation with a driver after he rear-ended the driver’s car, in an attempt to let a mother duck and her three ducklings cross the road, Papa sets an example for his children: anger shrinks beneath the awesome power of understanding and forgiveness.

In addition, Papa Bear, a carpenter, is by all accounts a diligent and responsible furniture maker who takes his craft seriously, no doubt garnering 3.9-star reviews on Bear Country Yelp. Shunning the temptation to churn out flimsy products to strike a quick profit, Papa finely carves each table and chair that emerges from his humble shop near the Bear family’s sturdy tree house, which he also built. And his children see their father wake up every day and head to work, witnessing the qualities of diligence, probity, and reliability Papa steadily exhibits throughout his professional life.

Papa is a steward of nature as well as furniture. In The Berenstain Bears, Patience Please (this and the following two books were published after Krauthammer’s column, so he is excused for not taking account of them), Brother and Sister Bear grow restless over the slow growth of their vegetable garden. Papa (and Mama) encourage their children to remain patient, invoking the Book of James to teach them about the importance of forbearance when cultivating the precious fruit of the earth.

Finally, the Berenstain Bears books give no indication that Papa Bear ever wavered in his love for Mama Bear. Papa was no furry philanderer: as he recounts in The Berenstain Bears’ Valentine Blessings, the secret admirer who sent him a valentine as a young boy was the same person he would end up marrying. Papa is depicted throughout the book series as someone who is constantly by Mama’s side, hugging her, wrapping his arm around her, and holding her hand. Shaggy yet chivalrous, he is in her presence.

Krauthammer was wrong. Papa Bear is not a wimp; he is an unconventional, if unkempt, knight. A bumbling buffoon who models industry, compassion, and charity and loves his wife unconditionally advances his children’s well-being with far greater effect than a cocksure polymath with loose morals.

And Papa is physically, socially, and emotionally present. In The Berenstain Bears and the Trouble with Chores, Mama Bear comes home to a gleaming house, facilitated by Papa’s leadership encouraging Brother and Sister to complete their chores. The dishes were cleaned, the floor cleared, the pictures straightened. More important, however, is a moment far more subtle. When Mama first sets foot in the house, Papa Bear is sitting in the living room chair, caressing Honey Bear in his lap, letting his warm presence touch the baby’s soul. Millions of children today could use a wimp like that.