Bench Memos

Law & the Courts

Obama Administration’s Outrageous War on North Carolina—Part 2 (Chesterton’s Advice)

See Part 1

Before diving into the legal arguments, permit me a diversion of sorts.

G.K. Chesterton famously advised that “long comfortable words … save modern people the toil of reasoning” and that it is therefore “a good exercise to try … to express any opinion one holds in words of one syllable.” I’m not going to be able to meet the one-syllable goal, but I’m going to try here to express in simple terms what is at stake.

Here’s some of what the Obama administration believes:

1. Because Johnny thinks he’s a girl, he should use the same locker room at school that Mary and Suzie and other girls use. He should be able to watch them take off their clothes and use the shower, and he should be able to walk around in front of them without any clothes on. It doesn’t matter whether Johnny and the girls are six or sixteen years old. If Mary or Suzie or their moms or dads don’t like it, too bad for them. They’re evil or stupid.

2. Same thing when Johnny goes off to college. What’s more, he should share a dorm room with girls. If they don’t like it, too bad for them. They’re evil or stupid.

3. When John grows up and gets a job, his boss has to let him use the women’s restroom. He can’t be asked to use a single-stall room instead. That would be so mean. If the women who work with him don’t like it, too bad for them. They’re evil or stupid.

4. John should be able to use the women’s restrooms and showers wherever he is. So what that an open door for John means an open door for any guy who wants to lurk? All we care about is John and folks like him. No one else matters. Anyone who disagrees is evil or stupid.

5. We have to say that John is a woman because he says he’s a woman. A woman with male genes and organs, yes. But things like biology don’t count. All that counts is what John thinks. So he should be called “she.” Anyone who disagrees is evil or stupid.

6. We don’t want to try to get new laws. That’s hard work. You’d have to try to tell people stuff they know is nuts. Let’s just claim to read all this into the laws that are now on the books. So what that no one ever thought this before? We have the judges now. No one can stop us. Anyone who tries is evil or stupid.

7. But we’ll cut our friends a lot of slack, at least for now. We’ll first just go after folks we don’t like. That way, no one will care much. Because we all know those folks are evil or stupid.  

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