The Corner

Delonas Voter

All right, I’ll admit, it’s getting a little late for Al Gore to make his move. Al plays a mighty deep game, though, so I’d hold off on those nyah-nyah emails if I were you.

On that other prediction, the one I logged in my October Diary, readers have been very helpful. Not only have they unearthed me making that prediction in print (well, pixelized letters and words), I even made it on video. Links here.

What else? Did my civic duty. I’d wanted to vote for Chuck Baldwin, but he’s not on the ballot in NY state. My next choice was to write in Ron Paul, but though it’s technically possible, (the polling-place guy told me), it involves a lot of paperwork and “might not get counted anyway.” Screw it, I thought, then I won’t vote for anyone for POTUS. I just went along turning down the tags for judges, every one that had “Conservative” under his name. At that point, I was ready to pull the lever, but … I hesitated.

See, this was early morning, right after breakfast. With breakfast I read my New York Post. This morning’s Post had a Sean Delonas cartoon that … stuck in my mind somehow. Sean really speaks to me.

I hesitated. The little angel on my right shoulder was saying:  “Purity, Derb, purity and a clean conscience! How could you live with yourself, voting for Ted Kennnedy’s and Joe Lieberman’s best friend? You’re a conservative, man! Go into the darkness unsullied, with your head held high!”  Meanwhile the Father of Temptation had a representative sitting on my other shoulder, waving the Delonas cartoon at me, whispering:  “Remember your Kipling, Derb! Stick to the Devil you know! At least when you’re breaking rocks in that labor camp in the Aleutians, you’ll be able to tell yourself you did what you could to stop it.”

I succumbed. By an effort of will, I reached out a trembling finger and turned down the tag. Then I shut my eyes and pulled hard on the lever. Yes, my friends, I voted for John McCain. May Dawkins have mercy on my neural correlates.

Not that it matters a damn. This is New York.

We are doomed, doomed.

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